Author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, John Dough and the Cherub, The Treasure of Karnak, and The Visitors from Oz, etc.
Originally published in Father Goose's Year Book, 1907.
This is the month the football game
Puts wars and rioting to shame.
And moral mortals sink so low
They bet which way the game will go?
Our gentle maidens all adore
The champion who sheds most gore,
And laugh with innocent delight
To see the long-haired fellows fight.
And if a shudder you behold
It's 'cause the weather's beastly cold;
To freeze and shiver every one
With joy submits, to see "the fun."
The North wind doth blow
And we shall have snow
And what will the robber do then, poor thing?
He'll "hold up" a few,
And the whole police, too,
And relieve you of your diamond ring - poor thing!
There was a crooked man
Who was crooked all the while.
He beat his crooked neighbors
In an easy, crooked style.
He delved in crooked politics
And cast a crooked vote,
And now the crooks respect him
As a man of crooked note.
The lady gave a wail
For a man walked up her trail;
Said he: "Great Scott!
As like as not
There's no moral to this tale!"
The perfume on a lady's gown
Suggests the darling meant
No matter whether asked or not
She'd surely give a-scent.
"Pease porridge hot,
Pease porridge cold;
Here's wifey's letter I forgot -
Three days old!"
"Race suicide," said Mr. Jinks,
"I'm guilty of, I know;
For I bet my money on a nag
That never had a show.
'Twas sure a matter of disgrace
To squander money so:
You'd hardly call the thing a race -
'Twas suicidal, though!"
Rolling billiard-balls gather no salary.
The Puzzle Corner
The Forgetful Poet's Valentine I am sure, most of you unriddled. He meant to say that your eyes shone like stars and to ask you to be his Valentine.
In France there is a city, dears,
That lots of people fancy.
It has a girl's name, strange to say,
The pretty name of ------.
In Alaska where a lot
Of Eskimos are at home
Is a city with a small elf's name,
And this one is called ------.
When logs are lit what do they do?
If you can answer this
You'll have a town in Switzerland
That tourists seldom miss.
And what kind of ribbon might run a race?
[Answers next time.]
Copyright © 2013 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.