Author of Captain Salt of Oz, Ozoplaning with the Wizard in Oz, and The Wish Express, etc.
A GOOSE POEM
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, May 19, 1918.
A maiden goose of age uncertain
Sat dreaming by her window curtain!
Her dreams of a gallant gander who
On bandy legs had come to woo!
At just this point the goose awoke,
For a gander voice on the stillness broke!
“Honk! Honk!” he called. “My love come he-re!”
Out rushed Miss Goose, you could hardly see her!
Alas, poor soul! Next minute found
Her stretched and breathless on the ground!
A motor horn! The poor old goose
Is crying yet—but what’s the use?
THE FIRST VACUUM CLEANER
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, February 2, 1919.
When big Madam Elephant cleans up her house,
’Tis done with no trouble or flurry.
No ladders or chairs; with a trunk like hers there’s
No occasion for fluster or worry!
It reaches the high spots and reaches the low,
And serves as a mop or a hose,
And that is the reason her nerves are so calm,
And her house is so neat, I suppose!
(I think an inventor must surely have seen her
And gotten a tip for the vacuum cleaner.)
THE DANDY LION
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, July 27, 1919.
Did you ever see a Dandy Lion?
He’s a sight to see.
With monocle from London Town
And cane from gay Paree.
His mane he combs in Russian style.
He wears a Homburg hat,
But his suit is straight American,
Just let me tell you that.
And when he strolls his eyes he rolls
Till all the beasts are sighin’
And envious—why some of us
May see a Dandy Lion!
THE PUSSY WILLOW
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, March 9, 1919.
A pussy willow tree, you know,
Is where the fairy kittens grow;
At night upon the willow bough
They roll and tumble and meow.
Until the fairies come to pet them;
Oho! the fairies don’t forget them—
Saucers of cream the fairies bring,
Kitten lullabies they sing!
Besides the little fairy kittens,
Muffs and furs and fairy mittens
Grow on these branches—so you see,
It is a very useful tree (for fairies).
THE FORGETFUL POET
By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, January 23, 1921.
“A pig,” says the Forgetful Poet, “is like a tomato because neither can climb a tree.” Well, did you ever? Here I’ve been trying to guess that puzzle all week and it’s only a joke!
The blanks in the verses were “gay,” “about them” and “hard.” What do you think of these verses?
There was fat and portly mouse,
Whose coat was green alpaca;
All day he sat around the house
And smoked dark brown -----.
He’d never heard that proverb known
To you, my little friends,
That “Singing cows and smoking mice
All come to dreadful -----!”
Why is a bowwow like a waste bucket? This really has a regular answer.
What state paper names a famous ship?
[Answers next time.]
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