Monday, March 2, 2026

THE WOODS IN OCTOBER

By Eloise Jarvis McGraw

Author of The Rundelstone of Oz, Merry Go Round in Oz, The Forbidden Fountain of Oz, The Moorchild, etc.

Originally published under her maiden name Eloise Jarvis in Literary Youth, November 1929, Oklahoma City Junior High Schools.


A keen, invigorating breeze sweeps the woods, resplendent in a myriad of gypsy colors, and some waxy, curled leaves swirl to the ground. They lie ankle-deep on the brown  earth, swirling and twirling upward with every gust of fresh October wind. The gentians add a tinge of royal purple to the scene. And in and out through the gaily bedecked trees dances October.

A gypsy maiden, black of hair, scarlet of lip, flings her brown arms up in glee, and laughs at the scolding squirrel above her.

Her black eyes dance and her feet seem to flit over the top of the carpet of golden and red autumn leaves. She spins and twirls and skips like a black and red autumn leaf among the trees, from which she has copied her gaudy scarlet and gold gown. A bunch of red berries are wreathed in her hair, and an aster tucked in her belt. She’s as carefree and beautiful as the splendid woods in which she plays, and the whole world seems to catch some of her gaiety and blytheness in the fall of the year. May it always be so!


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 29, 1918.

Sir Solomon on Skating

Sir Solomon approached the King
With sober face.
“There is a time for everything—
A time and place!

“Your Highness, and
I must admit—
A time and place
I find unfit.

“Take skating,
’Tis a worthy art
And full of thrills
That warm the heart.

“But ’tis unseemly
In some places
And times. Beau Sire,
Your kingdom faces

“A season when
The snow and ice
Forbid a gait
Safe and precise.

“The Highways turn
To skating rinks
Unfit for man
And beast—methinks!

“Skating’s a joyous thing,
Of course,
But unbecoming
In a horse.

“To keep four legs
In motion nice
Upon a highway
Full of ice

“Is quite impossible,
His load
And self oft tumble
In the road.

“Therefore, in time
Let us prepare.
I’ve fashioned shoes
For steeds to wear,

“And for our sundry
Selves and those
Whose gait with time
Unsteady grows!

“Therefore, O King!
I’ve brought them here.”
The King smiled on
His kindly seer.

“Adopted now
Upon the spot,
And let there be
No steed who’s not

“Equipped with safety
Shoes, and all
My subjects who’d
Avoid a fall

“Shall have them too.
Pray let this be
Made forthwith to
A High Decree!”

(So it was—and very sensible I call it.)

Copyright © 2026 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Saturday, February 28, 2026

OLIVER ELEPHANT'S GAME OF BALL

By Ruth Plumly Thompson


Originally published in the Hartford CourantNovember 10, 1918.
 
 
“I do wish,” grumbled Oliver Elephant, “the other fellows had trunks so I could play cocoanut ball with some one besides the monkeys!”

Uncle Abner Elephant looked up from the Jungle Review and sighed. It was too bad that Oliver Elephant had no big little brothers or sisters to play with and that he was the only little elephant boy in the neighborhood.

“Can’t Tommy Tapir play with you?” he asked mournfully.

“He hasn’t any trunk,” complained Oliver bitterly. “He shoves the cocoanut around with his nose and misses every single throw.”

“Well, why not play with the monkeys?” Uncle Abner wanted to finish his paper in peace.

“The don’t play fair; they run up the trees when they miss and bang me on the head with cocoanuts!” Oliver swung his trunk to and fro in a grieved manner, and Uncle Abner sighed unhappily. As Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Elephant both declared, he spoiled their child to pieces.

Perhaps he did, but then an old bachelor elephant must have something to spoil. Now Uncle Abner reached in his pocket and took out a jungle dime.

“Here, go buy yourself a bag of nuts!”

Oliver brightened up a little at this and started off toward Mr. Brown Bear’s hollow tree shop.

“What makes you so solemn, Oliver?” asked old Uncle Ursus Brown Bear, as he measured out the nuts in a tin cup.

“Nobody to play with!” mumbled Oliver crunching the half dozen nuts in his trunk.

“I’ll play with you!” Johnny Bear bobbed up from behind the counter, but Oliver Elephant only shook his head.

“Too little!” he exclaimed gloomily. “If I’d throw a cocoanut at you it would bowl you over. How could you catch, it, I’d like to know, and then you’d run and tell your ma and she’d tell my ma and what fun would that be?”

So Oliver clumped along crossly chewing nuts and scolding to himself and acting in a way I am ashamed of. That’s the truth. For after all there are lots of things to play besides ball.

Meantime, Uncle Abner Elephant was still worrying.

“Too bad the poor child is so big and all! Too bad!” he muttered, knocking the ashes from his pipe.

Then all at once he gave a whistle and whipping out his penknife he disappeared in the direction of the forest.

When supper time came he rushed in all out of breath with a big package done up in jungle leaves under his arm. No one noticed it. Mr. and Mrs. Oliver were too busy discussing the new Bear family who had just moved into the woods, and Oliver was still sulky.

No one noticed either when Uncle Abner disappeared right after supper nor heard him whistling away for dear life in his room.

Next morning Oliver woke up with the same grieved feeling and with his big cocoanut ball under his trunk came lounging down to breakfast.

He had just about made up his mind to run away to a place where there were more elephant boys and girls.

Breakfast wasn’t quite ready and, as he was determined to have one last meal at home before his big adventure, he went out on the porch to wait.

There in his rocking chair sat Uncle Abner surveying with great pride a set of the finest—well, what do you s’pose?

Tenpins! And each one had a monkey head carved on the top. Oliver had never seen tenpins in his life and he was so surprised that he dropped his ball, which went scurrying down the porch and knocked over eight.

“Fine!” said Uncle Abner.

“Doesn’t this beat playing with live monkeys!”

“See if you can knock ’em all down!”

And Oliver did. They became so interested that Mrs. Oliver Elephant had to drag them in to breakfast. And after that Oliver Elephant played ball by himself and had no end of fun.

But how Uncle Abner came to know about tenpins was this: His half brother had been captured and trained for a circus and one of his special stunts was playing tenpins. In a way which is quite remarkable, but really too long and roundabout to explain, he escaped and returned to the jungle, where he became an authority on many subjects.

I am glad Uncle Abner remembered this game, because I should not have liked Oliver to run away. Should you?


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 22, 1918.

Merrie Christmas in Supposyville

Over each snow-covered
Highway and hill
Goes the Crier of News
In Supposyville.

Sweet through the stillness
His bell tolls its way,
And his voice is as clear
As the chimes on a sleigh.

“Christmas morning! Awake!
Ye good people, awake!”
Then the bells in the towers
The sweet echo take

And toss it aloft—
Back and forth, to and fro,
And lights twinkle down
On the white sparkling snow.

And then in a breath
All the chimes cease their ringing,
And through the soft air
Comes a sudden sweet singing

Of stately old carols
By voices so young,
It seems that from Heaven
Itself they are flung.

Dear and old fashioned—
But that is the way
Supposyville wakens
On sweet Christmas Day.

Though later with stockings
And feastings and fun
They finish the day
They’ve so quaintly begun.

When I think of the carols,
The bells and the rest,
It seems the beginning
Is sweetest and best!

Copyright © 2026 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Saturday, January 3, 2026

DUSK

By Eloise Jarvis McGraw
Author of The Rundelstone of Oz, Merry Go Round in Oz, The Forbidden Fountain of Oz, The Moorchild, etc.

Originally published under her maiden name Eloise Jarvis in Literary Youth, Spring 1930, Oklahoma City Junior High Schools. An editorial note says of the work, “Eloise Jarvis really saw the ‘strange, weird denizens of the forest’ which she pictures here, while on a camping trip in Oregon last summer.”


Dusk! The time when all the strange, weird denizens
Of the shadowy forest
Come out to laugh and play.
The bats, like tiny, winged mice,
The owls, whose questioning “Who? Who? Who?”
Breaks the deepening silence of the calm summer night.
The fireflys, who light from time to time
Wee fairy circles, with their rosy glow.
All dear, friendly enemies
Whose carefree hearts know no foe.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 15, 1918.

Sir Solomon Makes His Christmas List

Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise
Beside his fire sat thinking;
Upon the hearth his faithful cat
All solemnly lay blinking.

The sage’s scientific brow
With furrows deep was knotted.
He held in hand a lengthy scroll
On which at times he jotted.

He’d several blots upon his robe;
His hair in disarray
Stood straight on end, and as he penned,
I heard the old dear say:

“Two peacocks and a pair of gloves,
Three puppies and a sled.
A chain and locket—no—I guess
I’ll get a watch instead!

“What shall I give my cook? Oh, my!
I almost had forgotten
Sir Hubert Herbert Harrington
And Madam Finley Wotten.

“There now, except their Majesties,
The Queen and King, that’s all.
Let’s see—ahem!—this choosing gifts
Is quite a ticklish call.

“They’ve golden chains and rings and cups
And dogs and silks and baskets;
They’ve rugs and jugs and silver mugs
And jewels in lovely caskets.”

The poor sage rubbed his head in vain—
’Tis hard to find a thing,
One must admit, both fine and fit
To please a Queen or King.

Then suddenly he gave a chuckle
And off upstairs he hurried,
And in his laboratory huge
Both back and forth he scurried.

And soon beneath his clever hands
There grew Supposyville,
With stages, pages, courtiers, tradesmen,
Blacksmith shop and mill.

“I’ve noticed,” laughed Sir Solomon,
“That when it comes to toys
The grownups like ’em just as well
As little girls and boys.

“And when the toy’s mechanical
The children stand around,
While dad and mother make ’em start
And stop!” Well, I’ll be bound.
(That is the truth.)

Copyright © 2026 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, December 3, 2025

OLIVER ELEPHANT TO THE RESCUE


Originally published in the Syracuse Herald, October 24, 1915.
 
 
Mother and Father and Uncle Abner Elephant had gone visiting. Oliver Elephant was all alone. There wasn’t a sound in the room ’cept the sleepy ticking of the clock and the rustle of the leaves as Oliver turned over the pages of his history book. “Ump!” grunted the big, little elephant at last. “Nothing wonderful ever happens to ME—guess I could be a hero if I ever had the chance! ‘The messenger delivered the letter to the king—saving his life and the life of his countrymen!’” he finished with a sigh. “If—UGH—what’s that?” Footsteps were approaching.

Oliver to his feet, his eyes glued to the door. Something bumped violently against it—and the NEXT minute—the next minute—a dark, furry body staggered into the room, rolled over and over on the floor, then lay still. Oliver’s heart pounded like twenty drums—he scarcely breathed. Then as the dark object didn’t stir he tip-toed over to it holding the lamp in his trunk.

It was a young tiger. Limp and seemingly lifeless it lay there, one of its legs broken and a dark crimson stain on its shining coat. At first, Oliver was going to run for his mother—then (you’ll hardly believe what I’m going to tell you next)—then a white envelope clutched in the tiger’s paw caught his eye. “To His Majesty the King!” was scrawled across the back and after that “DANGER!”

All of the history stories Oliver had been reading rushed through his head. “He was carrying a message,” thought he—“and somehow he’s hurt—DANGER—it must be very important!” He looked at the clock. It was 9—and his mother and father would soon be home. They would take care of the wounded messenger, but HE, HE, Oliver Elephant must take the letter to the king!  Propping a pillow under the tiger’s head, he seized the letter and rushed out into the pitch black jungle night.

He had never been to the king’s court, but he had often heard his father and Uncle Abner telling about it, and he knew that it lay on the other side of the deep river in the midst of a tangled growth of trees. Holding the letter fast in his trunk, he rushed through the night, crushing and crackling the branches beneath his huge feet like grain beneath a thresher. He forgot he was only a little boy elephant still studying his multiplications under old Professor Bear. Rushing with the wonderful letter seemed to turn him into some one else—he already fancied himself a grand Minister of State with gold buttons on his jacket. He even forgot to be afraid—and the deep, dark jungle is the last place I should like to be at night, I can tell you!

The river looked black and shimmery and scaresome, but Oliver Elephant plunged in and cut his way across like one of our big ferryboats. Holding the precious message high out of the water in his trunk, he scrambled up the opposite bank, shook himself, and started again on his mad tear through the trees. Every once in a while little furry creatures would scamper out of his way, green eyes peered down at him from the trees and up at him from the bushes. Startled monkey heads darted in and out as he passed and there was a great chattering as to what in the world could be the matter. “Won’t Tommy Tapir stare when I tell him? Won’t Uncle Abner Elephant be surprised?” thought Oliver as he panted along. “Almost there—just the other side of—”

Crash! Up went Oliver Elephant’s trunk, then down went he—down—in a tangle of branches, wire and net. He had fallen into a trap set by some cunning men and covered with branches and leaves. For a minute he was too stunned to move—he was down in a deep pit and so tangled up in a heavy net that getting out seemed impossible.

The first thing he thought of was the letter and he felt around till he had gotten hold of it. He didn’t think of his own danger at all—the only thing he could think of was the message. “What will happen, how will I get out of here, how will I get the letter to him?” he raged, slashing from side to side. “Hello!” called a voice suddenly. Oliver Elephant peered up. Stretched over the edge of the pit was the head of a huge snake—a python. “Can I do anything for you, comrade?”

“Yes! yes!” almost screamed Oliver. “Take this message to the king—hurry! hurry!” He held the letter aloft and the snake took it out of his trunk and slid noiselessly away in the dark.

Well, well! we are almost to the end of our story, for the python rushed to the king’s court and in a little while Oliver Elephant, fuming and struggling in the trap, heard the thudding of many feet. The king and all his court had come to help him. Oh, what a king he was—the most perfectly splendid LION you ever saw—and there were panthers and tigers and leopards, wolves and bears, and every other sort of jungle beast, and they all were roaring compliments to Oliver Elephant. The king gave him one of the gold buttons off his robe and let it down on a gold chain, saying a good bit about Oliver having saved his life—and the lives of all the other animals thereabouts. For the letter brought news of traps—just like the one into which Oliver had fallen—fifty of them—set all around the king’s favorite hunting grounds.

A messenger was dispatched to Oliver’s mother and father and it wasn’t long before they and Uncle Abner besides came puffing up. How to get him out was the question and if it hadn’t been for the great python, he would probably have been there yet, but, what do you think? He slid down into the pit, under Oliver Elephant’s, stomach, then up again. King and a dozen tigers caught hold of his tail and Oliver Elephant’s father caught hold of him just behind the head and they pulled and slowly, slowly, drew him up. The python stretched a foot or so, but he was very polite about it and said he didn’t mind it in the least. The messenger tiger recovered in time—he had been shot in the leg it turned out, and the king to celebrate the event, entertained the whole party in his palace, presenting each with a gold figure of himself as a souvenir and promising Oliver Elephant a high position at court as soon as he should finish school. My, my! did any one ever hear such a story before?


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 8, 1918.

A Model and Merry Castle

Heighho! there’s a castle
The like of which
You never have seen!
And it’s standing

High up on a hill
In Supposyville—
All the countryside
Round—commanding!

Flags flutter from each
Of its turrets and spires,
And the blue smoke curls up
From its big grate fires.

And oh! you should see it,
Sweethearts, o’ nights
A twinkle with thousands
Of candle light.

The gates are wide open
Just all the time
And Supposies are
Going and coming

Both early and late;
Courtiers, people of state,
Lads and lassies
A whistling and humming.

’Tis built—well, you’ll never
Once guess what it’s built of;
Never once in the world
Little honey—

’Tis built all of books,
So no wonder it looks
So delightfully,
Brightfully funny!

Its walls are all pictures
Of fairy tale places;
The furniture’s
Taken from stories,

The kitchen and cupboards
Like old Mother Hubbard’s
All papered in quaint
Jack-a-Gories!

There are caves, hidden stairways,
Throne rooms and all sorts
Of apartments made
Famous in rhymes,

And in this Book Castle
Supposyville’s youth
Have most wonderful
Make-believe times!

Every book that is cheerful
Or famous is there,
And before the huge
Grate fires they lie

And read about Princes
And pixies and elves,
About giants a half
A mile high!

Then they play all the books,
And the jolly Bookkeeper
Finds costumes and things
For them all.

We really must drop in
Some time, you and I,
And make a
Supposyville call!

Copyright © 2025 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Thursday, November 27, 2025

THE ORPHEUS ROAD SHOW

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The Treasure of Karnak, Daughters of Destiny, etc.

Lyrics from “The Orpheus Road Show,” Uplifters’ High Jinks, Coronado, CA, October 1917.


Never Strike Your Father, Boy

Seldom baste your Mother, lad; ’twas she who gave you life;
Don’t often pound your Sister—save your thumpings for your Wife;
And if yo’ knock your Auntie down ’twill be for cause, I know,
But never strike yo’ Father, boy—unless you need the dough.


The Girl in my Home Town

My girl is a shy girl
But she’s my girl—
That’s why I miss her;
I’m far away today
But say! Some day
I’ll hug and kiss her;
Fair girls and rare girls,
Blue eyes and brown,
Are ev’rywhere, but none compare
With the girl in my home town.


Goose Pimples

She was only foolin’
When she let me call her “hun”;
She was only foolin’
’Cause all she loved was “mon”;
She was only foolin’
And lookin’ out for fat—
She kept my four dollars
And just let me holler—
It gave me goose-pimples at that!


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 1, 1918

Solomon Tremendous Wise and the Royal Sleigh of Supposyville

Heighho! but I wish
You had seen the sleigh
Of their Royal Highnesses
Pass today.

With silver bells
And horses white,
I tell you now
’Twas a dashing sight.

Horses ten and
Footmen two,
Cushioned in gold
And deep sea blue.

Along in a whirl
Of snow it sped,
With couriers galloping
On ahead

To clear the way
And prevent a spill,
While the King and Queen
Of Supposyville,

In white fur robes
Securely belted,
With apples and cakes
Their subjects pelted.

Old Solomon
Tremendous Wise
The sleigh at a turn
In the road espies.

And, giving his steed
A prod, sets out
To see what such furious
Speed’s about.

Panting and breathless
He comes ’longside.
“One moment, your Highnesses!
Stop!” he cried.

But they only laughed.
“No time for stopping.
We’re off to finish
Our Christmas shopping!”

The words came back
As they round a curve
In a manner requiring
Technique and nerve.

“A good idea,”
Quoth Mr. Wise;
And after the two
At top speed hies.

It must be fun
To shop that way.
Wish we could ride
In that Royal sleigh!

Copyright © 2025 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

MINI MONKEY TELLS OLIVER ELEPHANT A SECRET


Originally published in the Pittsburg Press, May 23, 1915.
 
 

“Ho, Oliver Elephant, I can tell you a secret if you give me that new red tie you have on!” Mini Monkey winked her wicked little eyes and swung slowly to and fro by her tail—“A GREAT secret, Oliver Elephant!”

The big little elephant looked doubtfully first at the mischievous monkey and then at his new tie. “What kind of a secret, Mini?—this is a BEAUTIFUL tie. I don’t believe you know this—I don’t believe it!” and Oliver Elephant began to walk slowly away.

“Oooo—ooh! Listen!—I’ll tell you the secret first and THEN if it is all right you can give me the tie,” said Mini artfully, and making a flying leap through the air she landed on Oliver Elephant’s broad head and whispered in his huge ear. What she said I have no idea—for I only heard the word “fly”—but it MUST have been a pretty fine secret, for Oliver tore off his treasured tie without so much as a wink, and ran home as fast as his legs would carry him (which was pretty fast, I can tell you).

After that strange things went on in Oliver’s woodshed. To Tommy Tapir alone Oliver told the wonderful secret, and every minute the two cousins could spare they hammered and sawed and pasted and planned until Mother Elephant really became quite curious. “What ARE you doing, Oliver Elephant?” she asked one morning when Oliver came in with the end of his trunk almost pounded into a jelly. (Tommy Tapir had pounded it with the hammer instead of the board Oliver was holding for him.) “Just makin’ things,” said Oliver with a wink at Tommy, and Mother Elephant seeing that it was a VERY important secret did not ask any more questions.

Finally everything was finished and Tommy and Oliver Elephant could hardly sit quiet during school hours so anxious were they to try the secret. In fact, they were so restless and looked out the window so much, and asked each other so many times whether it was going to stay clear that they were both kept after school and lectured severely by Professor Bear, who could not understand what an important thing was about to happen. But at last the school bell rang, the longed-for time came and the two, staggering under their heavy bundle (which they had carefully tied up the day before), went deep into the woods and climbed a high cliff which overlooked a beautiful lake.

Here, after a great deal of fussing and fuming and “ouches” and “ohs,” Oliver stood resplendent in a  huge pair of paper wings with heavy wooden frames. He looked to funny and so top-heavy that Tommy Tapir rolled on the ground with glee. “I don’t see anything to laugh at, Tommy Tapir. If I had known you would do that I would never have told you. Here, you try it yourself if you think it is so funny,” and Oliver Elephant began to unstrap the wings. At this Tommy grew quiet. “Don’t, Oliver,” he said. You—you’ll spoil everything.” But he had to laugh again when Oliver Elephant tried to walk—he certainly was top-heavy. Now Oliver Elephant was not afraid, but the laughter of Tommy made him nervous and when he looked down at the lake it made him dizzy—so closing his eyes hurriedly, he leaped from the cliff. Down, down, down he went so fast that both ears blew out like huge sails, and before he could get his breath he hit the water with a resounding smack and disappeared. Tommy, who had confidently expected him to fly, ran panting for help, and returned in a few minutes with Father and Uncle Abner Elephant at his heels. All that they could see of Oliver Elephant was the end of his trunk sticking out of the water, and it took all three to tow him to shore and untangle the wings.

“Now, perhaps, you will be kind enough to explain what all this nonsense was about,” said Father Elephant sternly while he patched up Oliver’s ear which had been badly torn on the broken wing. “Well, you see,” began Tommy, anxious to shield Oliver Elephant. “Mini Monkey told me a great secret—I gave her my new tie for it—but it wasn’t a secret—it was a story,” sobbed Oliver Elephant. “What did she tell you?” asked Father Elephant with a twinkle in his eye. “She said, ‘Cobrada, the wise old snake, told me today that the only reason you could not fly was because YOU DIDN’T HAVE WINGS,’” “Well, that part was true—what else did she say?” Father Elephant asked again, as Oliver hesitated. “She said, ‘Why don’t you MAKE a pair?’—and I did—but I didn’t fly, I just flopped—and I hurt myself, and—just wait until I catch Mini Monkey!”


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, November 24, 1918.

How They Do It in Supposyville

Ten turkeys roasting on the spit,
With twenty cooks to mind ’em,
To beat up paste, to baste and taste
With ne’er a look behind ’em!

Ten serving men in gold and lace
And silver pantaloons,
Setting the royal table out
With silver forks and spoons.

Ten pages running to and fro
Between the cooks and King;
Ten fiddlers tuning up, besides
Ten minstrels gay to sing!

Who says Supposyville lacks cheer
Thanksgiving time? My heart, dear!
I swear that there they have more fun
Than we could ever start here.

Not only in the palace is
A royal feast preparing,
But every little cottage there
The festival is sharing.

Up every chimney curls the smoke,
And mingled with such savor
The birds hang round to just absorb
The rich, delightful flavor.

And after dinner all the folks
Go calling on the King,
And those that know a clever trick,
And those who dance or sing,

Delight the company by their art.
Heighho! what merry capers
They cut up there—pshaw! I declare—
With riddles, rhymes and tapers.

“My dear Supposies, just a few
Remarks before you go,”
The quaint King cleared his throat; “Thanksgiving
Comes by once, you know,

“Each year, and as the spirit of
Thanksgiving is so splendid,
I have decided with myself
To have the time extended.

“Please note upon your calendars
The lengthening of the season.
Three hundred days and sixty-four
We all can find a reason

“To celebrate it every day—
For any one a-living
In old Supposyville will find
Each day one BIG Thanksgiving!”

Copyright © 2025 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

MY HOBBY

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Magic of Oz, The Treasure of Karnak, Daughters of Destiny, etc.
 
Originally published in The Mercury (Los Angeles, CA), July 1915.
 
 
My hobby is the garden that
I’ve made in Hollywood
Where roses blow and dahlias grow
Exactly as they should.

Where Nature in a mood divine,
Her rarest charms unfold
And I who worship at her shrine
Enchantments gay behold.

There color riots in the beds
Of stock and daffodil
And lilies from their nodding heads
The air with fragrance fill.

The merry song birds trill their lays
And water lilies bloom;
Content and pleasure fill my days
And leave no room for gloom.

’Tis there I oft indulge in dreams
Where shady nooks entice
And to my mind this garden seems
An Earthly paradise.

’Tis my retreat from Worldly care;
My one desire, indeed,
Is that within my garden fair
I’ll some day go to seed.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, November 17, 1918

Pink Mondays in Supposyville

“Now I suppose that washing clothes
Is quite a tedious matter,
Causing no end of rubs and scrubs,
Of muss and fuss and splatter.”

Thus one fine day old Solomon
Tremendous Wise observed.
“A lot of cheer is wasted here
That ought to be conserved.

“For as the good dames blue the clothes
They seem to blue themselves,
And when they’ve placed them crisp and clean
And starched upon the shelves,

“They’re limp, and just an awful cramp
Gets in; makes Monday blue and damp.
It settles like a fog upon us—
Blue Monday, what a wrong you’ve done us!”

The good King laughed.
“Perhaps,” said he,
“You’ve thought us up
A remedy!”

“For one thing,” old Sir Solomon
Remarked, “I’ve been a-thinking
’Twould be a lot more sensible
To use a cheerful pinking

Instead of bluing, and I’ve jars
For the entire realm!”
“Your perspicacity, my friend,
Doth truly overwhelm,”

The good King chuckled, “and what else
Have you in mind, my man?”
Sir Solomon puffed out his chest.
“Your Majesty, my plan

“Is to divide the matter up
Between the men and women;
No reason why a man should not
Share up—he’s fond of swimmin’!”

The King’s crown tumbled off. “My friend,
That is a worthy plan.
But don’t you think that washing clothes
Is not quite fit for man?”

“He wears ’em, don’t he?” Solomon
Tremendous Wise commented;
And after quite a little talk
The good old King consented.

Now, every other Monday all
The good dames take a rest.
And the men-folk wash and pink the clothes,
That is much the best

Way out, I think. I wonder what
Would happen, duck and dear,
If we should just insist they try
The very same thing here!

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