Author of The Giant Horse of Oz, "The Wizard of Pumperdink," "King, King! Double King!" etc.
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 12, 1920.
But I didn’t start out to tell you about his handkerchief at all. I started out to tell you the story Uncle Abner Elephant told him. Uncle Abner heard him groaning and plunging around the bed, so he tiptoed into the room and sat down in the big creaky rocker. “Rob Rabbit was certainly the perkiest little rascal I ever heard on,” began Uncle Abner, rocking comfortably. “Huh?” grunted Oliver, trying not to be interested. “I said Rob Rabbit was the perkiest little rascal I ever heard on,” repeated Uncle Abner, slowly. “Why, would you believe it, he blacked the king’s eye once. Yes, sir! He blacked Shaggy Lion’s eye as black as your mother’s cook stove. You see, Rob Rabbit used to get mighty tired of the little people where he lived—of the guinea pigs, and squirrels, and woodchucks, and rabbits—and every once in a while he’d tie up all his clothes in his red silk handkerchief, kiss his mammy goodby and start off to the hills. And this time I’m telling you about he walked a long distance, till he came to the tree where Shaggy Lion had his court.
“Everybody was so busy listening to the evidence against Mr. Snake that they never saw him at all and the evidence was so uninteresting, and Rob Rabbit was so tired that first thing you know he went sound asleep. Didn’t he wake up all of a sudden though? Feeling pretty uncomfortable, he was too!” “Why?” said Oliver Elephant, taking his trunk from under the pillow. “Why?” exclaimed Uncle Abner, “why, all the animals had fast hold of him. They were pulling and jerking and growling and snarling. ‘Come along home with me. Come along home with me!’ ‘A-hold on! A-hold on!’ gasped Rob Rabbit. ‘You’re tearing my coat.’ (I guess he meant ‘let go.’) But anyway they didn’t, they just kept pulling harder—Mr. Bear and Mr. King Lion, and Mr. Snake, and Mr. Tiger, and Mr. Monkey, and all the rest of them. Rob Rabbit wiggled his nose very fast, and with all the breath he had left called, ‘Why LOOK! OH, LOOK! Off by the trees yonder! We’ll all be killed, I reckon.’ And quick as a wink they dropped him and looked off by the trees, and, of course, there wasn’t anything to see at all. When they found that out, Rob Rabbit was on ’tother side of the hill, buried in a deep hole, all but his eyes.”
“Were they mad?” said Oliver Elephant, sitting up and peeking out from beneath his bandage. “MAD!” ejaculated Uncle Abner with a wave of his trunk. “They were the maddest crowd of annymiles you ever did see. And off they went to find him, ker-thump-thump-thump—’cause none of them wanted to lose that Rabbit pie they were hoping to have.
“Shaggy Lion saw his wiggly nose first. ‘Come out of there till I bite your head off!’ he roared, and Rob Rabbit DID come. He shot out like a cannon ball. Kerplunk, he smashed into Shaggy Lion’s eye and closed it up tight, and back in his hole again before any one could swallow. Shaggy Lion ran round and round, with his paw to his eye, which was black as your mother’s kitchen stove, just as I told you—and he made a TERRIBLE fuss. The other beasts were so surprised that they sat plumb down where they were with their tongues hanging out.
“‘Who tore my coat?” shouted Rob Rabbit, sticking his head out of the hole. ‘’Cause when I find out, I reckon I’m goin’ to black BOTH his eyes.’ ‘Who tore his coat?’ roared Shaggy Lion, glaring at the others with his one good eye, and Mr. Bear began to blame it on Mr. Snake, and Mr. Snake began to blame it on Mr. Tiger. And they all began to talk at once, and all the while they were backing clear away from Rob Rabbit, and when they got about so far (Uncle Abner measured off the distance with his trunk) up went their heels and away they ran in a cloud of dust and Shaggy Lion, he ran the fastest of all.”
“Big Wumpuses,” laughed Oliver Elephant, almost forgetting he was sick. “And Rob Rabbit didn’t have any more trouble with them THAT visit!” chuckled Uncle Abner. “Do you know any more stories about Rob Rabbit?” said Oliver Elephant, as Uncle Abner lumbered out the door, “’Cause I’d like to hear them if you do.”
AND—so should I. How about you?
Another Supposyville Party
October’s mellow, yellow moon
And brilliant golden sun
Look down in turn upon that realm
Of happiness and fun!
And if the sun’s a little late
In coming up round here,
You’ll know it’s ’cause he overstayed
His time out there, my dear.
They do enjoy him so, you know,
In ’Sposyville. Why, there
Folks spend three-quarters of their day
Out in the open air!
And, naturally, he stays the longest
Where he’s loved the best,
And in that way old Mr. Sun
Is quite like all the rest.
Bus pshaw! no wonder he was late
The other morning. Whew!
If I’d been he I should have stayed
Another hour too!
’Cause there they were, the whole of them—
The King and Queen and Court,
Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise
And men of every sort.
Men and maids and children, too,
A raking leaves together,
And larking in the gayest way
Out in that golden weather!
“The Kingdom must be tidied up;
Let’s make a party of it,”
The King announced, and all the dear
Supposies said they’d LOVE it.
And it wouldn’t be Supposyville
Without rewards and prizes.
They ranged beside the King in many
Different shapes and sizes.
One for the largest pile of leaves,
One for the loveliest wee leaf,
One for a gold and one for a scrolled
And one for the finest belief.
They danced through crackling lanes of ’em
And dived into huge heaps,
And played at hide and seek through ’em
With nimble hops and leaps.
And when the party’s over just
At sundown, not a one
Is strewn about and never did
Supposies have more fun.
And speaking, as we are, of leaves,
’Tis my be-leaf that they
Have found the very best receipts
For turning work to play.
Copyright © 2025 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.
