Author of The Runaway in Oz, The Wonder City of Oz, Lucky Bucky in Oz, etc.
Originally published in The Sunday Magazine, December 25, 1904
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| Click on image to enlarge. |
“To be a society beau
Good manners you clearly must kneau,”
Said the maitre de danse
With a flourish from France
As he gracefully stood on his teau.
The children advanced in a reau
And gracefully courtesied leau,
And when they succeeded
In doing as he did
They cried in their rapture: “Heau-Heau!”
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, March 18, 1917.
The Invasion of Supposyville
What happened in that Kingdom
What happened in that Kingdom
Of Supposyville last week
Is really so remarkable
I hesitate to speak
About it. Still I might as well
Tell you, sweethearts, I s’pose,
’Cause every single person
In the Maybe Kingdom knows!
’Twas the time when all Supposyville
Turns out to promenade,
Just 3 o’clock, but scare had the
Procession gone a rod
Before the tramp of heavy feet,
The sound of beating drums,
The tooting of a hundred horns
To all the company comes!
The gates are opened in a trice
And all Supposyville
Turns out to see AN ARMY HUGE
A-charging down the hill.
The Queen dispatched her cooks with haste—
“A FEAST and lemonade,
How nice of them to call on us
And what a fine parade!”
The lads and lassies clap their hands
And all stand in a row
And wave their ’kerchiefs and the
Children fairy kisses blow.
The trumpeter toots on his horn,
The Queen’s pet tickle bird
Flies off to meet the army.
’Fore a man could say a word
He’d flown beneath each chin and flicked
His tickle feathers lightly;
Each soldier man tried not to grin
But roared at last outrightly.
Before the Captain’s face is straight
Enough to thunder, “CHARGE!”
The cooks approach, the first one armed
With an apple pie SO large,
So juicy and delectable
The army is distraught,
Broke ranks, advanced. Not for the Kingdom,
For the PIE they fought!
“Why, there is plenty, plenty more,
You famished men, ne’er fear;
We’ve lemonade and apple pie
For every soldier here,”
The Queen assured them, while the Captain
Tried to frown a frown,
And say, “Go to, we’ve conquered you!”
Instead, he just sat down
On a chair a page brought. Never, dears,
Were soldier men so treated;
At 6 o’clock they marched away
Delighted, and defeated.
“How can one fight an enemy
Who fills you up with PIE?”
The Captain chuckled to his men,
“No use at all to try!”
And on the records that he keeps
He wrote this sentence down:
“We cannot capture them, because
We’re captured by the town!”
Is really so remarkable
I hesitate to speak
About it. Still I might as well
Tell you, sweethearts, I s’pose,
’Cause every single person
In the Maybe Kingdom knows!
’Twas the time when all Supposyville
Turns out to promenade,
Just 3 o’clock, but scare had the
Procession gone a rod
Before the tramp of heavy feet,
The sound of beating drums,
The tooting of a hundred horns
To all the company comes!
The gates are opened in a trice
And all Supposyville
Turns out to see AN ARMY HUGE
A-charging down the hill.
The Queen dispatched her cooks with haste—
“A FEAST and lemonade,
How nice of them to call on us
And what a fine parade!”
The lads and lassies clap their hands
And all stand in a row
And wave their ’kerchiefs and the
Children fairy kisses blow.
The trumpeter toots on his horn,
The Queen’s pet tickle bird
Flies off to meet the army.
’Fore a man could say a word
He’d flown beneath each chin and flicked
His tickle feathers lightly;
Each soldier man tried not to grin
But roared at last outrightly.
Before the Captain’s face is straight
Enough to thunder, “CHARGE!”
The cooks approach, the first one armed
With an apple pie SO large,
So juicy and delectable
The army is distraught,
Broke ranks, advanced. Not for the Kingdom,
For the PIE they fought!
“Why, there is plenty, plenty more,
You famished men, ne’er fear;
We’ve lemonade and apple pie
For every soldier here,”
The Queen assured them, while the Captain
Tried to frown a frown,
And say, “Go to, we’ve conquered you!”
Instead, he just sat down
On a chair a page brought. Never, dears,
Were soldier men so treated;
At 6 o’clock they marched away
Delighted, and defeated.
“How can one fight an enemy
Who fills you up with PIE?”
The Captain chuckled to his men,
“No use at all to try!”
And on the records that he keeps
He wrote this sentence down:
“We cannot capture them, because
We’re captured by the town!”
Copyright © 2019 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.
