Friday, May 10, 2024

THE LOVERIDGE BURGLARY

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Lost Princess of Oz, The Treasure of Karnak, Daughters of Destiny, etc.

Originally published in Short Stories magazine, January 1900.


There was no doubt about it; the house had been robbed. Mr. Loveridge knew it the moment he got out of bed and saw a vacancy on his white shirt-front where a handsome solitaire diamond had sparkled when he closed his eyes in sleep.

Mr. Loveridge was not readily excited. He calmly searched his vest pocket and discovered that his valuable time-piece was also missing. From his trousers had been abstracted a well-filled pocketbook.

Mr. Loveridge sighed. Then he reached over and awakened his wife. “Mollie,” he said, “the house has been robbed.”

Mrs. Loveridge rolled over, dug her dimpled fists into her eves and murmured, sleepily. “What did you say, Charlie?”

“We have been robbed.”

Mrs. Loveridge opened wide her eyes and stared at him in astonishment.

“The house has been entered by burglars,” continued her husband.

“Burglars! Good gracious!” cried the little woman, springing from the bed in one bound. The word “burglar” was a terrible one to her, as it is, indeed, to every well-constituted woman. “Robbery” does not sound nearly so awe-inspiring.

“Look for your jewels, Mollie,” said her husband, pleased at having aroused her at last.

Mrs. Loveridge rushed to her dressing-table, stooped over it, and held up her hands with a little scream.

“They’re gone!”

“So I supposed,” returned Charlie, complacently, “they’ve probably stripped us of everything they could lay hands on.”

Mrs. Loveridge screamed again.

“Oh, Charlie! My sealskin!” She ran to a closet, gave a little ejaculation of relief, and returned with a smiling face.

“They didn’t find it, dear.”

“But your jewels were much more valuable.”

“I know, but I’ve only had the cape a week. It would have broken my heart had they taken it.”

“H-m!” growled her husband; “suppose you dress yourself. We’ll go downstairs and see if they have stolen the silver.”

Mrs. Loveridge hastily complied, and together they descended to the dining-room. The silver was intact, nor could they find that anything below stairs had been disturbed.

But as they entered the sitting-room Mollie’s sharp eyes made a discovery, and she ran to the window with a cry of surprise.

A round hole had been cut in the plate glass, large enough for a man to have reached through and unfastened the sash. The bit of circular glass, with a piece of putty adhering to its centre, was lying on the sitting-room table. The sash was fastened, as if the intruder, having retired with his booty, had been thoughtful enough to close and secure the window behind him.

“He was a clever fellow,” said Mr. Loveridge, thoughtfully; “I wonder why he didn’t take the silver; but perhaps jewelry is easier to dispose of. I suppose we must investigate this matter?”

“Of course,” returned his wife. “But oh, Charlie! isn’t it lucky we have a detective in the family?”

“Do you think Tom could discover the thief?”

“I know he could, and we’ll put the case in his hands at once. You know the Pinkertons have tried to get him several times, but he prefers to work on his own account. I suppose Tom is the best detective in America.”

“Because he’s your cousin.”

“Nonsense! Because he can find out anything; that’s the reason. He isn’t one of those common, blundering fellows.”

“Well, I’ll see him when I get downtown, and put the case in his hands.”

“Do, dear,” replied Mrs. Loveridge. Then, clapping her hands, she added, “Won’t it be jolly when Tom brings the villain to justice and restores all our jewelry!”

“If the fellow hasn’t pawned it,” remarked her husband; “I’d like to get my watch back again; it was one of your presents to me, you know.”

Mrs. Loveridge threw up the window-sash and leaned out.

“How funny!” she exclaimed, after a moment; “see here, Charlie.”

Mr. Loveridge leaned over the sill and saw a long, narrow indentation in the damp earth beneath the window, running from the path a few yards away directly to the spot below them, where it had made a deep impression. From beneath the window the trail wandered irregularly back to the path again, where it was lost in the gravel.

“What does it mean?” asked Mr. Loveridge.

“It’s a bicycle track,” replied Mollie; “it means that we have been robbed by a man on a bicycle!”

“But there are no tracks where he got off.”

“He didn’t get off, Charlie—that is, upon the ground—he ran the machine up to the window, leaned it against the wall, and stood upon the seat while he broke open the window.”

“Humph!” said her husband, “if he’s as clever a rascal as that, Tom will have a job catching him.”

“Oh, Tom will be a match for him, never fear,” returned the lady, with full confidence in her cousin’s powers; “but let us have breakfast at once, so you can get downtown and let Tom know we have work for him.”

At ten o’clock Mr. Loveridge walked into his office, hung up his coat and glanced over the mail. Then he went to the telephone and rung up Mr. Tom Harkins, detective.

Mr. Harkins was out. “He usually is out when any one wants him,” growled Charlie.

Mr. Loveridge felt that he had important news to communicate to some one. A man is not burglarized every day. He walked across the hall and rapped at the door of his old friend and crony Jenkin Foreman. “Come in!” cried a hearty voice, and Mr. Loveridge entered to find his friend in company with no less a personage than Mr. Tom Harkins.

He gave a sigh of satisfaction.

“Jinks,” he said—Jinks was the familiar name of Mr. Jenkin Foreman—“I have been robbed.”

Jinks was sitting in his office chair, with a big cigar in his mouth and his feet upon the table. He removed the cigar, raised his eyebrows slightly and inquired, calmly, “How?”

Mr. Loveridge was disappointed. Perhaps he had not put the case forcibly enough.

“My house was ransacked by burglars last night, and all of my own and my wife’s jewelry stolen, as well as a large sum of money.”

Jinks cast a curious glance at Tom Harkins and smoked more furiously than ever.

“Any traces of the robbers?”

“None at all; scarcely any, that is.”

Here Mr. Loveridge lit a cigar of his own, put his feet on the table beside the other two pair that were occupying it, and proceeded to relate circumstantially the occurrences of the morning.

“And now,” he said, turning to Mr. Harkins, “I want to put the case in your hands. Mollie is confident you can find the scoundrel and restore our lost property. You’d better go up to the house and examine that bicycle track and see if you can find a clue.”

“I will,” said the famous detective, with a yawn; “Mollie can give me the pointers, I suppose?”

“Certainly. And you’d better stay to lunch and keep the poor girl company, if you think you can spare the time.”

Mr. Harkins slowly drew on his gloves.

“I shall use my best efforts of course, Loveridge; but you must remember that no man is infallible. And besides, a burglar who rides a bicycle is a new ‘genus homo,’ and is likely to prove slippery.”

“I know, I know,” returned Charlie; “but you’ve worked out worse cases than this, and I believe you’ll bag the scoundrel in time.”

“I’ll try,” said Mr. Harkins, and departed upon his errand.

Jinks smoked in silence for a time.

“Charlie,” he then exclaimed, “I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“In giving this case to Tom.”

“Nonsense! Tom is conceded to be a very clever detective, and he’ll take a friendly interest in this affair besides.”

Mr. Foreman looked thoughtfully at the toe of his patent-leather shoe.

“Loveridge,” he remarked, “have you noticed lately that Tom is failing?”

“Failing how?”

“In his mind.”

“No.”

“I have,” said Jinks, with emphasis, “and as a personal friend I advise you to hire another detective; that is, if you want to recover your property.”

“Oh, but I couldn’t do that,” remonstrated Mr. Loveridge; “Mollie would never forgive me, and I’d rather lose the whole thing than show a lack of confidence in a friend,”

Jinks groaned.

“Business is business,” he murmured.

“So it is, but Tom’s head is as right as yours or mine. I believe he’ll catch the burglar within a week.”

“Tell you what I’ll do,” said Jinks; “I’ll bet you fifty I can find a man who will discover the burglar before Tom does.”

“Done!” said Charlie. It was one of his weaknesses not to be able to refuse a bet.

Mr. Foreman arose, rung the bell of his ’phone, and called up the City Detective Bureau. He explained that Mr. Loveridge had been burglarized and directed them to send a man to his residence at once to secure evidence against the thief. They promised to do so.

Mr. Loveridge listened with a smile upon his handsome face.

“It’s no use, Jinks,” he said, as his friend hung up the ’phone, “those blundering fools never discover anything. Your fifty is lost already.”

“Wait,” said Jinks, “I’ll not interfere in any way. If the regular detective doesn’t nail your man before Tom does, the fifty is yours. And now let’s go out and have a drink.”

Tom Harkins was a good deal surprised, as he sat at luncheon with his cousin Mollie, to hear a detective from the city office announced. He saw the man personally, and was assured that Mr. Loveridge had employed him to work upon the case.

“This is some of Jinks’ doing,” muttered the young man, as he gravely regarded his rival. He was a seedy-looking chap, and Tom at once estimated him as no better than the average run of city detectives.

“Look around the place,” he said to him, condescendingly, “and see what you can discover. The fellow rode up on a bicycle, it is certain, but so far as I can determine left no other tracks behind him.”

And then he bid Mollie good day, assuring her of his faithful endeavors to find her jewels in good time, and caught the next car into the city.

The other man looked after him thoughtfully. He was pleased at having met and spoken with the celebrated Detective Harkins. Would he ever be able to acquire so great a reputation himself, he wondered?

Mollie, to whose mercies Tom had commended the man from the city office, stood holding his soiled card rather gingerly in her pretty fingers. She glanced at it now, and asked:

“Would you like to look over the premises, Mr. Briggs?”

“If you please, ma’am,” he replied, with deference.

“I suppose Mr. Loveridge wished you to assist Mr. Harkins on the case,” she continued, doubtfully.

He telephoned the office for a man, ma’am, and they sent me,” he answered, evasively.

Mr. Harkins has been very thorough in his investigations,” continued Mollie; “he has searched every inch of the carpet and looked all through the grounds, but I don’t think he found anything. And he seemed to be disappointed about it.”

But Mr. Briggs wished to investigate on his own account, and he went to work very deliberately. He examined the window with its broken pane minutely, and put in his pocket the piece of putty that adhered to the bit of glass left upon the table. Then he went outside and inspected with care the track of the bicycle.

Mollie, who was watching him from the window, saw him kneel upon the damp ground and put his face close to the track. Creeping along on his hands and knees he examined it inch by inch, and finally paused with a low exclamation of surprise.

Mrs. Loveridge, becoming curious, went out and joined him.

“Have you found anything?” she asked.

“A clue, ma’am!”

“What is it?”

He drew a magnifying glass from his pocket and held it over the indentation made by the wheel. She peered through it a moment and then said, “I don’t see anything.”

“The rear wheel of the bicycle had been punctured,” explained Mr. Briggs, “and was mended by a T-shaped rubber patch.”

“Can you see it?”

“I can see the impression of the patch very easily.”

“Let me look again,” demanded Mollie. “Oh, yes! I can see it quite plainly now. But how do you know it was the rear wheel?”

“Because had it been the forward one the mark of the patch would have been covered by the wheel that followed it.”

“Oh, I see. But is this discovery of any value?”

“Yes, indeed. Find the man who has the T-shaped patch on the rear wheel of his bicycle and you have the burglar.”

Mollie stared at him in surprise.

“There may be a good many T-shaped patches in use,” she suggested.

“Yes; the rubber patch is a common mode of repairing a tire,” he acknowledged; “but this one has its peculiarities. It was not put on neatly. The long arm is bent into a half-circle, and the edge of one of the short arms is cut like a half moon. All of these details are impressed clearly upon the soil, and are reproduced in three separate places.”

He took out his book again and made an accurate drawing of the patch.

“There are a good many hundreds of bicycles in the city,” he said, with a smile; “and many of them doubtless wear patches upon the tires. But a less important clue

than this has often proved successful.”

Mrs. Loveridge could not help regarding the man with admiration. But probably Tom could find the burglar without resorting to such small details.

Mr. Briggs went away promising to keep a sharp watch for the T-shaped patch, and that evening Mrs. Loveridge told Charlie that after all the fellow might prove to be a good detective, and perhaps would help Tom discover the thief.

“These detectives are jealous of each other,” replied her husband, “and if Briggs gets the burglar it will be on his own hook. I’m sure I hope he won’t, for if he gets the thief before Tom does I shall lose another fifty.”

When Mr. Loveridge was starting for town the next morning he was surprised to observe that the bicycle tracks had been obliterated during the night, all traces of them being trampled into the earth.

It was two days afterward that Mr. Briggs, while crossing a boulevard, was almost run down by a bicycle. The rider, observing who he was, sprang from his wheel, with a laughing apology.

“Good morning, Mr. Briggs; how goes the Loveridge case?”

“Slowly, Mr. Harkins,” returned the detective, “but I have hopes, nevertheless.”

“What! Have you a clue?”

“A small one, sir.”

As he spoke, Mr. Briggs looked involuntarily toward Harkins’ bicycle. Then he put his hand on the rear wheel, stooped over and stared at the tire for several moments in silence. When he looked up he found Tom Harkins’ eyes fixed steadily upon him, and the two men remained gazing at each other a full minute.

Suddenly Harkins sprang to the saddle, nodded to his companion, and sped swiftly down the boulevard.

Mr. Briggs drew out his handkerchief, mopped the perspiration from his fore-head, and walked away to the office.

That afternoon Mr. Loveridge was seated in his friend Foreman’s office, engaged in disputing with that gentleman concerning the tariff, when Tom Harkins entered with a gloomy air, lit a cigar, and sinking into an arm-chair rested his feet upon the table.

“What’s up, Tom?” asked Jinks, pausing in his argument. The great detective did not reply.

“Sulky, hey? Well, suit yourself. As I said before, Charlie, nothing but a high tariff will ever—”

A soft rap sounded upon the door.

“Come in!”

Slowly the door opened and admitted Mr. Briggs. He took off his hat, nodded gravely to those present, and addressed himself timidly to Mr. Harkins.

“Can I see you a moment in private, sir?”

“No!” snapped Tom, “you can see me here.”

“But, sir—”

“What do you want? Come—out with it!”

“I have a warrant for your arrest!” said Briggs, desperately.

“What for?”

“The Loveridge burglary.”

Charlie jumped to his feet with a cry of amazement, and stared at the detective in horror. But Jinks kept his seat and chuckled softly to himself.

“This is an outrage!” exclaimed Mr. Loveridge; “what do you mean, sir?” he demanded, turning to Briggs.

“Must do my duty, sir,” returned the man, doggedly; “my instructions were to find the criminal. Well, I have found him.”

Mr. Loveridge looked at Tom Harkins. That gentleman sat smoking furiously and staring at the ceiling, but he said nothing, Jinks was rubbing his hands softly and chuckling in a diabolical fashion that greatly incensed Mr. Loveridge. He turned to Briggs again.

“Do you mean to say you have any evidence against my friend, Mr. Harkins?”

“The best of evidence, sir.”

“What is it?”

“A T-shaped patch on his bicycle tire just fits the impression of a similar patch in the tracks left under your window.”

Mr. Harkins here spoke for the first time, in a low, collected voice.

“The tracks have been obliterated. You have no proof.”

“Pardon me,” replied Briggs, “I have ample proof. I made a drawing of the patch in the presence of Mrs. Loveridge herself, and she saw the impression in the tracks. I can use the lady as a witness, if necessary.”

“It will scarcely convict, however,” said Tom.

“There is other proof,” continued Mr. Briggs. “The diamond used to cut the window pane became loosened from its setting in the operation. You afterward searched the house for it. I found it sticking to the putty, and have identified the stone as one belonging to you.”

“Good!” cried Jinks. Then he stood up and regarded the company complacently.

The equanimity of Mr. Harkins seemed undisturbed; Mr. Loveridge was scowling

angrily at the detective; Mr. Briggs appeared uneasy, and a bit frightened.

“Do you give up, Tom?” asked Mr. Foreman, in a tone of raillery.

“Yes,” said Tom, with a drawl, “I suppose I must.”

“What!” cried Mr. Loveridge, “do you acknowledge the crime?”

Mr. Harkins nodded gravely and blew a great cloud of smoke from his mouth.

“Sit down, Charlie,” commanded Jinks; “take this seat, Mr. Briggs,” he continued, placing a chair for the surprised detective.

Then he walked over to his safe, unlocked it and taking out a tin box, corded and sealed, he came forward and placed it in Mr. Loveridge’s hands.

“There, Charlie, are the jewels,” he said, cheerfully, “just as Tom gave them to me the morning after the burglary. I think you will find them all there, and the money as well. By the way, Tom, have you that hundred about you?”

While Loveridge and the detective were endeavoring to comprehend the scene, Mr. Harkins took out his wallet and counted over a bundle of crisp notes, which he handed to Mr. Foreman.

“Can you spare that fifty now?” continued Jinks, turning smilingly to the bewil-dered Loveridge.

Charlie paid the bet without a word of protest.

“Now,” said Mr. Foreman, pocketing the money, “I’ll endeavor to explain this little mystery. Tom and I were conversing here one day when I made the statement that no burglar was so clever but that he could be caught. Tom contradicted this. ‘Why,’ said he, ‘I could rob a house, say Loveridge’s, for instance, and not leave the slightest clue behind me.’ ‘I’ll bet you a hundred you can’t,’ said I. ‘Done!’ said Tom. “I’ll burglarize Loveridge within a week, and if I am not discovered within three months you are to pay me the hundred, and return the plunder to Loveridge with an explanation and a supper at Kinsley’s. If I am caught, I’ll pay the hundred and stand the consequences.’ That was the agreement, wasn’t it, Tom?”

Mr. Harkins nodded.

“But you see,” continued Jinks, “no man is so smooth but there is some one smoother, and Tom is a better thief-catcher than thief. Mr. Briggs has the honor of having detected the great detective himself!”

“And all,” added Tom, dolefully, “because of that confounded T-shaped patch!”

“Gentlemen,” said Mr. Loveridge, lighting a fresh cigar complacently, “I invite you all to dine with Jinks at Kinsley’s at six o’clock. He seems to be the only one who has come out of this transaction ahead, and I decree that he shall pay the bill. In the meantime I’ll send this jewelry up to Mollie, who will be delighted to recover her property; but I fear her confidence in Tom’s powers will be terribly shaken when she hears the story.”

Tom arose with a bored expression upon his usually calm face.

“I move we have a drink,” he said; “will you join us, Mr. Briggs?”


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, July 14, 1918


The Complaint Department in Supposyville

Now, in Supposyville, my loves,
They have a sweet facility
For placing each one in the task
For which he shows ability!
No matter who or what you are,
How dull or wise or witty,
How short or high, how stiff or spry,
How homely or how pretty,

They find a way to use you in
Supposyville—sometimes
I wish they’d let me go there and
Indite the Kingdom’s rhymes.
Yes, whether you’ve a wooden leg
Or wooden head, the King
Is sure to find you suited for
Some necessary thing.

And everybody works some part
Of every day—no matter
How rich they are—they’re busy, from
The King’s cook to the hatter.
When each one does his share, you see,
No one need work so long;
And not to work at something’s
Simply altogether wrong.

Sometime the Lords and Dukes drive cars,
And no one thinks it strange.
The Queen in her odd moments runs
The telephone exchange.
But all of this is neither here
Nor there—to show the way
’Tis done, just let me tell you what
Transpired the other day—

The watchman suddenly and in
A manner most perplexing
Mislaid his hearing—lost it—you’ll
Admit ’twas rather vexing;
He didn’t bother though, but went
And told the King about it.
“Pshaw! pshaw!” quoth he. “Well, let us see
What you can do without it!

“I have it—you shall be in charge
Of our complaint division!”
Now, wasn’t that a comical
Yet sensible decision?
The deaf man each day listened to
Complaints of every kind,
And Supposyville was able thus
To relieve its worried mind

Without a fear of consequence,
For dead men tell no tales,
They get the sympathy they want,
A smile that never fails
To cheer them up. I’m glad to say,
Complaints grow less and less each day.

Copyright © 2024 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

A GOOD OLD WOLF STORY

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Kabumpo in Oz, "The Wizard of Pumperdink," "King, King! Double King!" etc.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, December 12, 1920


Once upon a time there was a kind-hearted wolf. Imagine! He ate nothing but baked potatoes, oatmeal and custard, and never once thought of eating boys or girls or fat woolly lambs. Never once, mind you! He always had pennies and peppermint lozenges in his pockets.

But for all that he had the most wretched time of it, for no one would associate with him. His relations among the wolves turned up their nose at baked potatoes and said a wolf had no business being kind-hearted. The other animals in the woods were afraid of him and warned their children to keep away from his house.

“He’s just pretending to be kind and some day while you are playing in his yard, he will rush out and gobble you up,” Mrs. Rabbit explained with a shake of her head.

So when the little rabbits saw him coming they scurried away as if goblins were chasing them. As for the boys and girls, they took to their heels at the very sight of him. For, of course, they kept getting him mixed in their minds with the wolf who ate Red Riding Hood.

“Some day they will understand,” he would say to himself as he sat by his fire all alone. “If I only were not so ugly!”

The more he smiled the faster people ran and, though there were sledding and coasting parties in the wood, he was never invited, for the wolves said he was queer and the other animals said that he was sly. And so it went.

Then one day a hunting party rode into the forest and when they galloped back to the king’s city a score of baby foxes and rabbits waited and waited for their daddies and mammies. But, of course, they did not come, for the huntsmen had shot them.

The kind-hearted wolf had seen the huntsmen pass his house with the furry bodies dangling from their shoulders. He shook his head sadly; then, building a cheerful fire and putting some potatoes in the oven, he went out into the dark night.

When he returned twenty little foxes clung to his coat-tails and thirty little rabbits snuggled in his pockets. Then he shut the windows and barred all the doors and gave them a lovely supper, and after that he put them to sleep in his big bed and sat down by the fire as if he expected something.

He didn’t have long to wait, for pretty soon there came a knock-knock-ing at the door. A company of bears and wolves were outside snarling and growling.

“Give us some of the baby rabbits and foxes, you selfish fellow,” they roared. They had been hunting all evening for them.

The kind-hearted wolf chuckled, then went on smoking his pipe, and after the bears and wolves had thumped and bumped themselves tired they went away. Next day another hunting party rode into the woods, dogs ran baying through the bush and guns popped like crackers on the Fourth of July. Hither and thither ran the poor animals seeking shelter, but the party was so large it seemed as if they would all be killed. Just ahead of the dogs they reached the kind-hearted wolf’s house.

“Let us in! Let us in!” they called loudly; bears, hares, wolves and foxes all together.

“Will you promise not to harm the little rabbit and fox babies?” cried the wolf, sticking his head out of the window. They promised in a great hurry, so he let them all in.

When the dogs and huntsmen pounded by the wolf’s house was tightly shut, so they thought no one lived there and they went on. Meanwhile the kind-hearted wolf bustled about, offering every one refreshments.

After dinner they had a game of buzz, so that it was quite a party, and when the big animals went away next day they agreed that the kind-hearted wolf was the best animal in the woods.

After that he was never lonely again, for all the little animals came to see him and the big ones, too, and while they were under his roof they never quarreled.

As for the twenty foxes and thirty little rabbits, he brought them up as if they had been his own children, and with such care and skill that they distinguished themselves in several parts of the world.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, July 7, 1918


The High Pie Test in Supposyville

Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise,
The King’s chiefmost adviser,
Seems every day to find a way
Of proving himself wiser.
“There is,” said he, “one thing that we
Have overlooked, your Highness;
A matter of importance and
A matter of much finesse!

“It has to do with weddings, Sire,
Contentedness and quiet;
It has to do with the tremendous
Part of each man’s diet
That lacking causes pain, distress,
The blues and melancholy;
That eaten regularly keeps
Him jovial and jolly.

“A peaceful household you will find
Where good pie is a factor,
It is a never failing calm,
A masculine attractor;
And knowing this to be the case,
Your Majesty, ’twere best
To make each maiden pass, before
She weds, a high pie test!”

“A high pie test! Sir Solomon,
Your genius is sublime, Sir!”
Thus spoke the King, “and so your hint
I regard as very prime, Sir!”
By royal proclamation it
Was spread North, East and West
And South: “No maid shall wed until
She’s passed the high pie test!”

And after that—’most every day,
Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise
Is called upon to test and pass—
Well, several dozen pies.
Sometimes the King helps. The insides
Must be both sweet and shaky;
As for the crust--of course, that must
Be white and light and flaky.

And when the pies have passed, the maid
May wed—Aho! I’m thinking
Sir Solomon just made that rule—
Yes; once I saw him winking—
Because he wanted pie himself.
Not having any wife
He thought he’d just insure himself
Against a pieless life!

He tests the pies himself, you know.
Now what a merry joke
The wise old wight has played this time
On our Supposy Folk.

Copyright © 2024 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

RAINBOW CHORUS

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The Boy Fortune Hunters in the Yucatan, Daughters of Destiny, etc.

From the projected stage show Ozma of Oz, 1909.


We’re the daughters of the Rainbow
In the clouds our palace stands,
There we’re daily dancing gaily
In the realm our sire commands.
When the great world just beneath us
Is submerged by summer showers
All our sky-land is a dry land
And a merry life is ours.

Dancing on the shifting clouds
Where the Rainbow dwells,
Well we know our sunny bow
Lovely skies foretells.
We’re as happy as the day
Frolicsome and light and gay
Though to earth we sometimes stray
Cloudland is our home.



Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, June 30, 1918
 
The Supposyville Picnic

Oh, once upon a tiny time
In old Supposyville
The King and Queen and all the rest
Went camping on a hill.

A dim, deep forest stretched beyond—
All very well by day—
But waiting for the night to come
Two lurking lions lay!

They licked their chops and counted up
The good Supposies there.
“Aho!” said one. “We’ll have enough
Indeed and some to spare.

“Just let them feast to heart’s content,
I like ’em better stuffed!”
And so the hungry lions lay
All day and bluffed and snuffed.

Meanwhile, Supposies, unaware
Of such unkindly neighbors,
Frolicked away the livelong day
And rested from their labors.

A tasty supper topped the rest,
And now each made his bed
From fragrant spruce boughs which do make
A springy couch, ’tis said.

And as the stars came out they all
Disposed themselves for sleep.
Then stealthily the lions twain
From out the forest creep.

“I’ll take the King!” “And I the Queen!”
The wretched beasts decided.
“And after that the rest of them
Can quickly be divided!”

Hahoh—the King is chuckling to
Himself, for he has planned
A great surprise, and softly now
He motions to the band.

All suddenly a blare of horns
And trumpets loudly sounded.
The drowsy folk sprang to their feet
Astonished and confounded.

Then up rose fireworks of all kinds
And colors in bright showers;
The sky is spangled with a host
Of bursting gay fire flowers.

The good Supposies clap their hands
And cry aloud in glee.
The lions quail and next turn tail,
Then turn about and flee!

The King nor none of them had seen
The lions. I am glad.
It would have spoiled the picnic just
To think of things so bad.

And on the whole I’m awf’ly pleased
That they were all surprised
Instead of eaten up, my dears,
And really lionized.

Copyright © 2024 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

THE BEST THING!

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Ojo in Oz, "The Wizard of Pumperdink," "King, King! Double King!" etc.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, June 16, 1918.


Once upon a time a spider and a daddy longlegs got into a tremendous argument.

“I’m far superior to YOU,” said Daddy. “See what long legs I have, and how much faster I can RUN!”

“Flies and fiddlesticks,” grumbled the Spider. “What good is running. Can you SPIN?”

“Spin?” said Daddy Longlegs. “I wasn’t made for spinning! Can you run?”

“I don’t have time to run,” said the Spider. “I sit at home and spin, and let other folks do the running. SPINNING’S THE BEST!”

“RUNNING’S the BEST!” cried Daddy, shaking one of his legs angrily.

Just then a terrific gust of wind came sweeping around the corner of the porch. Daddy Longlegs saw it coming, and he did the thing that he thought was best—which was to run—and his long legs carried him safely to a hole between the boards of the porch.

And the spider—he saw the terrific gust of wind coming and he did the thing that he thought was best, which was to spin. Quick as a flash he spun a web round a splinter, then round and round him so that he was tied fast and the gust of wind did not carry him on.

When the terrific gust of wind had gone somewhere else Daddy Longlegs stepped out of his hole. “I’ll just see what became of that foolish spider who could not run,” said he. And the spider began untying his web and muttering to himself, “Now I wonder what became of that silly Daddy Longlegs who could not spin?”

“WHY, HELLO!” cried Daddy Longlegs in surprise when he came up to where the spider was untying himself. “WHY, HELLO! Thought you’d be blown atop the roof by this time!” “And I thought you’d be clear up to the clouds by now!” said the Spider to Daddy Longlegs.

“Well, you see now,” said Daddy, wagging his long leg triumphantly. “Running was the best.”

“I see nothing of the sort!” cried the spider, popping his eye. “Spinning was the best.” Then both of them stopped short, ’cause they both had discovered something.

“Why,” said Daddy, “I see how it is. Spinning’s the BEST for you, and running’s the BEST for me.”

“That’s it! That’s it!” cried the Spider. “Shake hands, Daddy Longlegs, shake hands!” And they did. So you see BOTH were best. That’s often the way with things.


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, June 23, 1918

Supposyville Goes Sailing

Supposyville is not withal
A salt sea water nation,
They’ve never tried the uses of
The sea for recreation.
The King has lately read a lot
About the thrills of sailing,
Of skimming o’er the briny deep 
And ocean monsters trailing.

Therefore he calls Sir Solomon
And orders up a ship,
And bids the Queen and half the court
Make ready for the trip.
Sir Solomon looks very grave,
But says he’ll do his best.
“Quite so!” replied the King, “And I
Myself will do the rest!

“I’ve studied how to raise a sail
And climb the gallant mast,
To tack and bring her round and back
And run her slow and fast.”
Sir Solomon looked graver still,
But hied him off to start
A hundred workmen on the ship.
Complete in every part

Within a week she rode at ease
Beside the royal dock,
Complete from anchor to topsail,
From compass-deck to clock.
Sir Solomon he shook his head
When they invited him.
He said he was a bit too old
For such a lengthy swim.

“Swim!” laughed the King. “We’re going to sail.
What mean you anyway?”
“Nothing,” Solomon sighed. “Perhaps
You’ll understand some day.”
The King read from his book the duties
Of all hands aboard;
He took the wheel himself and now—
“Get under way!” he roared.

Some one forgot the anchor, but
At last they headed out
So swift and sudden that the King
Forgets what he’s about.
Round swept the boom and overboard
A dozen courtiers tumbled.
All hastily they’re rescued; not
A fellow of them grumbled.

Straight out and fast and faster still
They flew before the gale,
And desperately the courtiers clung
To cabin, chair and rail.
The motion, which they’d overlooked,
Began to take effect.
They mentioned turning homeward—Ho!
Aho! they little recked

That turning back’s a ticklish thing.
The King jammed down the rudder.
The boat turned on its side and soon
The waves began to flood her.
The sails ripped wide, the mast collapsed,
And tossed and thumped and battered,
The poor King and his courtiers in
The salty sea are scattered!

I’m mighty glad that they could swim,
I’m gladder still to say
That Solomon Tremendous Wise
Had started off straightway
They’d sailed and got a ship to save
Them, sirs, and in the nick
Of time it reached the spot and brought them
Home just double quick.

“I’ll have to see a doctor—not
So easy as it looks!”
The King groaned, all disconsolate;
“It sounds all right in books!”

Copyright © 2024 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

JACK PUMPKINHEAD AND THE SAWHORSE

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The Boy Fortune Hunters in the Yucatan, Daughters of Destiny, etc.

Originally published 1913.

 

In a room of the Royal Palace of the Emerald City of Oz hangs a Magic Picture, in which are shown all the important scenes that transpire in those fairy dominions. The scenes shift constantly and by watching them, Ozma, the girl Ruler, is able to discover events taking place in any part of her kingdom.

One day she saw in her Magic Picture that a little girl and a little boy had wandered together into a great, gloomy forest at the far west of Oz and had become hopelessly lost. Their friends were seeking them in the wrong direction and unless Ozma came to their rescue the little ones would never be found in time to save them from starving.

So the Princess sent a message to Jack Pumpkinhead and asked him to come to the palace. This personage, one of the queerest of the queer inhabitants of Oz, was an old friend and companion of Ozma. His form was made of rough sticks fitted together and dressed in ordinary clothes. His head was a pumpkin with a face carved upon it, and was set on top a sharp stake which formed his neck.

Jack was active, good-natured and a general favorite; but his pumpkin head was likely to spoil with age, so in order to secure a good supply of heads he grew a big field of pumpkins and lived in the middle of it, his house being a huge pumpkin hollowed out. Whenever he needed a new head he picked a pumpkin, carved a face on it and stuck it upon the stake of his neck, throwing away the old head as of no further use.

The day Ozma sent for him Jack was in prime condition and was glad to be of service in rescuing the lost children. Ozma made him a map, showing just where the forest was and how to get to it and the paths he must take to reach the little ones. Then she said:

“You’d better ride the Sawhorse, for he is swift and intelligent and will help you accomplish your task.”

“All right,” answered Jack, and went to the royal stable to tell the Sawhorse to be ready for the trip.

This remarkable animal was not unlike Jack Pumpkinhead in form, although so different in shape. Its body was a log, with four sticks stuck into it for legs. A branch at one end of the log served as a tail, while in the other end was chopped a gash that formed a mouth. Above this were two small knots that did nicely for eyes. The Sawhorse was the favorite steed of Ozma and to prevent its wooden legs from wearing out she had them shod with plates of gold.

Jack said “Good morning” to the Sawhorse and placed upon the creature’s back a saddle of purple leather, studded with jewels.

“Where now?” asked the horse, blinking its knot eyes at Jack.

“We’re going to rescue two babes in the wood,” was the reply. Then he climbed into the saddle and the wooden animal pranced out of the stable, through the streets of the Emerald City and out upon the highway leading to the western forest where the children were lost.

Small though he was, the Sawhorse was swift and untiring. By nightfall they were in the far west and quite close to the forest they sought. They passed the night standing quietly by the roadside. They needed no food, for their wooden bodies never became hungry; nor did they sleep, because they never tired. At daybreak they continued their journey and soon reached the forest.

Jack now examined the map Ozma had given him and found the right path to take, which the Sawhorse obediently followed. Underneath the trees all was silent and gloomy and Jack beguiled the way by whistling gayly as the Sawhorse trotted along.

The paths branched so many times and in so many different ways that the Pumpkinhead was often obliged to consult Ozma’s map, and finally the Sawhorse became suspicious.

“Are you sure you are right?” it asked.

“Of course,” answered Jack. “Even a Pumpkinhead whose brains are seeds can follow so clear a map as this. Every path is plainly marked, and here is a cross where the children are.”

Finally they reached a place, in the very heart of the forest, where they came upon the lost boy and girl. But they found the two children bound fast to the trunk of a big tree, at the foot of which they were sitting.

When the rescuers arrived, the little girl was sobbing bitterly and the boy was trying to comfort her, though he was probably frightened as much as she.

“Cheer up, my dears,” said Jack, getting out of the saddle. “I have come to take you back to your parents. But why are you bound to that tree?”

“Because,” cried a small, sharp voice, “they are thieves and robbers. That’s why!”

“Dear me!” said Jack, looking around to see who had spoken. The voice seemed to come from above.

A big grey squirrel was sitting upon a low branch of the tree. Upon the squirrel’s head was a circle of gold, with a diamond set in the center of it. He was running up and down the limbs and chattering excitedly.

“These children,” continued the squirrel, angrily, “robbed our storehouse of all the nuts we had saved up for winter. Therefore, being King of all the Squirrels in this forest, I ordered them arrested and put in prison, as you now see them. They had no right to steal our provisions and we are going to punish them.”

“We were hungry,” said the boy, pleadingly, “and we found a hollow tree full of nuts, and ate them to keep alive. We didn’t want to starve when there was food right in front of us.”

“Quite right,” remarked Jack, nodding his pumpkin head. “I don’t blame you one bit, under the circumstances. Not a bit.”

Then he began to untie the ropes that bound the children to the tree.

“Stop that!” cried the King Squirrel, chattering and whisking about. “You mustn’t release our prisoners. You have no right to.”

But Jack paid no attention to the protest. His wooden fingers were awkward and it took him some time to untie the ropes. When at last he succeeded, the tree was full of squirrels, called together by their King, and they were furious at losing their prisoners. From the tree they began to hurl nuts at the Pumpkinhead, who laughed at them as he helped the two children to their feet.

Now, at the top of this tree was a big dead limb, and so many squirrels gathered upon it that suddenly it broke away and fell to the ground. Poor Jack was standing directly under it and when the limb struck him it smashed his pumpkin head into a pulpy mass and sent Jack’s wooden form tumbling, to stop with a bump against a tree a dozen feet away.

He sat up, a moment afterward, but when he felt for his head it was gone. He could not see; neither could he speak. It was perhaps the greatest misfortune that could have happened to Jack Pumpkinhead, and the squirrels were delighted. They danced around in the tree in great glee as they saw Jack’s plight.

The boy and girl were indeed free, but their protector was ruined. The Sawhorse was there, however, and in his way he was wise. He had seen the accident and knew that the smashed pumpkin would never again serve Jack as a head. So he said to the children, who were frightened at this accident to their new found friend:

“Pick up the Pumpkinhead’s body and set it on my saddle. Then mount behind it and hold on. We must get out of this forest as soon as we can, or the squirrels may capture you again. I must guess at the right path, for Jack’s map is no longer of any use to him since that limb destroyed his head.”

The two children lifted Jack’s body, which was not at all heavy, and placed it upon the saddle. Then they climbed up behind it and the Sawhorse immediately turned and trotted back along the path he had come, bearing all three with ease. However, when the path began to branch into many paths, all following different directions, the wooden animal became puzzled and soon was wandering aimlessly about, without any hope of finding the right way. Toward evening they came upon a fine fruit tree, which furnished the children a supper, and at night the little ones lay upon a bed of leaves while the Sawhorse stood watch, with the limp, headless form of poor Jack Pumpkinhead lying helpless across the saddle.

Now, Ozma had seen in her Magic Picture all that had happened in the forest, so she sent the little Wizard, mounted upon the Cowardly Lion, to save the unfortunates. The Lion knew the forest well and when he reached it he bounded straight through the tangled paths to where the Sawhorse was wandering, with Jack and the two children on his back.

The Wizard was grieved at the sight of the headless Jack, but believed he could save him. He first led the Sawhorse out of the forest and restored the boy and girl to the arms of their anxious friends, and then he sent the Lion back to Ozma to tell her what had happened.

The Wizard now mounted the Sawhorse and supported Jack’s form on the long ride to the pumpkin field. When they arrived at Jack’s house the Wizard selected a fine pumpkin–not too ripe–and very neatly carved a face on it. Then he stuck the pumpkin solidly on Jack’s neck and asked him:

“Well, old friend, how do you feel?”

“Fine!” replied Jack, and shook the hand of the little Wizard gratefully. “You have really saved my life, for without your assistance I could not have found my way home to get a new head. But I’m all right, now, and I shall be very careful not to get this beautiful head smashed.” And he shook the Wizard’s hand again.

“Are the brains in the new head any better than the old ones?” inquired the Sawhorse, who had watched Jack’s restoration.

“Why, these seeds are quite tender,” replied the Wizard, “so they will give our friend tender thoughts. But, to speak truly, my dear Sawhorse, Jack Pumpkinhead, with all his good qualities, will never be noted for his wisdom.”


Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, June 16, 1918
 
A Hair-Raising Happening in Supposyville

Now, in Supposyville, as here,
There’s one thing they can’t master—
A bald head! And they spread and spread
And multiply much faster
Than these good folk care to admit.
The King himself’s appalled
At the horrid thought with misery fraught
Of quite becoming bald!

“It won’t be quite becoming, either,”
He assured his Queen,
As thoughtfully he rubbed his still
Well-covered royal bean!
“Why not prevent it ere it happens?
Offer a reward
To him who raises hair, and do
It now!” the Queen implored.

Forthwith ’twas done. A proclamation
Freely made it known
That whoso found a way of raising
Hair by skill alone
Should be rewarded with a bag
Of yellow gold. Heighho!
Now all the people in the land
Are trying hairs to grow.

Particularly the barber shops—
A month they worked away,
And what a crowd of them convened
Upon hair-raising day!
The King sat in the court yard and
Each one advanced in turn
And tried to prove his fitness that
Fair bag of gold to earn!

There were ointments by the hundred
And tonics not a few,
But, after all, no man had proved
He’d grown a hair or two.
Disconsolate, the King admitted
That no proofs were there;
Though he’d used his strongest glasses,
He’d discovered not a hair.

Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise,
Who’d stood behind the King
A-chuckling fit to kill himself,
Now stepped into the ring.
Then with a horrid shriek he sprang
Into the air and froze
Their very marrow. Every hair, sirs,
In the company rose!

Before they’d quite recovered he
Advanced and claimed the prize.
“I saw your hair raise straight on end
Before my very eyes!”
He stated solemnly. Aho!
Then how the good King laughed.
“You rogue!” he roared. “You scared me so
I thought you’d gone clean daft!”

“I’ve proved my skill,” quoth Solomon;
“And if you are in doubt—”
He reached into his blouse and drew
Two long-eared bunnies out.
“These hares have grown by skill alone!”
The merriment waxed higher.
“Is there any further proof,” asked he,
“Your Highness may require?”

“What profiteth hair on the head?
’Tis what’s beneath that matters.
Pray, leave such worries to the fate
Of donderheads and hatters!”
His Highness took the seer’s advice
And mid the general fun
Decided it another thing
That simply can’t be done!

Copyright © 2024 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.