Author of Ozoplaning with the Wizard of Oz, The Wish Express, "King, King! Double King!", etc.
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, July 7, 1918.
Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise,
The King's chiefmost adviser,
Seems every day to find a way
Of proving himself wiser.
"There is," said he, "one thing that we
Have overlooked, your Highness;
A matter of importance and
A matter of much finesse!
"It has to do with weddings, Sire,
Contentedness and quiet;
It has to do with the tremendous
Part of each man's diet
That lacking causes pain, distress,
The blues and melancholy;
That eaten regularly keeps
Him jovial and jolly.
"A peaceful household you will find
Where good pie is a factor,
It is a never failing calm,
A masculine attractor;
And knowing this to be the case,
Your Majesty, 'twere best
To make each maiden pass, before
She weds, a high pie test!"
"A high pie test! Sir Solomon,
Your genius is sublime, Sir!"
Thus spoke the King, "and so your hint
I regard as very prime, Sir!"
By royal proclamation it
Was spread North, East and West
And South: "No maid shall wed until
She's passed the high pie test!"
And after that--'most every day,
Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise
Is called upon to test and pass--
Well, several dozen pies.
Sometimes the King helps. The insides
Must be both sweet and shaky;
As for the crust--of course, that must
Be white and light and flaky.
And when the pies have passed, the maid
May wed--Aho! I'm thinking
Sir Solomon just made that rule--
Yes; once I saw him winking--
Because he wanted pie himself.
Not having any wife
He thought he'd just insure himself
Against a pieless life!
He tests the pies himself, you know.
Now what a merry joke
The wise old wight has played this time
On our Supposy Folk.
THE FORGETFUL POET
By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, January 26, 1919.
The Forgetful Poet
Would you believe it? Sometimes this dear old chap forgets the answers to his own riddles, and then every one in the office has to get to work to help him out. But, as he says, his head is so full of new ideas that he has not room for all the old ones. Last week's answers were: Longfellow, Eugene Field, Shelley, Whittier, Wordsworth, Bret Harte, Scott, Browning.
The preserved letter in the alphabet which appeals to boys and girls is candy.
This week he asks:
"Why is a letter (the kind you write) feminine?"
"What German food describes a wise man--Solomon Tremendous Wise, for instance?"
He felt pretty good, because he really got off a joke on me.
"Do your feet correspond?" he asked me suddenly. I looked down hastily to see whether I had the right shoe on the left foot or anything. "What do you mean?" I said, quite mystified.
"Well, I've often heard of foot notes--so I thought possibly your feet corresponded!" Before I could get even, he hurried out and I could hear him laughing all the way down the entry. Pshaw!
[Answers next time.]
Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.
