Monday, February 1, 2010

MR. GRASSHOPPER FACES THE WINTER

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Ozoplaning with the Wizard of Oz, The Wish Express, "King, King! Double King!", etc.

Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, November 16, 1919.



Once upon a time there was an elderly old grasshopper, who found himself facing the winter without an adequate supply of tobacco or clover leaves, not to speak of a garden bed.

His children had all married and jumped over the garden fence, all the flowers were dead and he hadn't seen a fairy for weeks. The wind had swept off his favorite toadstool, and the poor old fellow was blown hither and thither by the rude fall winds till he fairly panted for breath.

"Dear me! Dear me!" gasped the old gentleman; "so this is winter!"

"This is only fall," chirped a rude sparrow. "Wait till Jack Frost gets you and then you'll have something to fuss about!"

Mr. Grasshopper was so overcome at this unkind remark that he crept under a pile of leaves and fell to moaning and rubbing his poor rheumatic old knees. He must have fallen asleep, for the next thing he knew a delicious warmth crept into his stiff old joints.

"Why, I believe I could jump," thought the old fellow, and 'tis mighty fortunate that he did jump, for he was among the crackling twigs of a little gnome's fire.

The most tantalizing fragrance arose from the kettle, and the little room was so snug and cozy that Mr. Grasshopper thought he must surely have arrived in Heaven. He twinkled his whiskers and sniffed with delight. The little gnome watched him with great interest.

"Must have carried him in with the twigs! Feelin' better?" he asked cheerfully.

Mr. Grasshopper almost jumped back into the fire, he was so alarmed. He had not noticed the gnome before. "Do you eat insects?" he quavered tremulously.

"My, no!" chuckled the gnome "'specially not when they're thin as you!"

Well, honeys, that little gnome took care of Mr. Grasshopper the whole winter and got him a good place in the Fairy Orchestra as a fiddler besides; so he had all the tobacco he could smoke. Many a long winter evening he whiled away for his crooked little benefactor with funny stories and lively tunes, so that the gnome felt more than repaid for his board and lodging.

"We can't all be useful," he chuckled to himself when his friends twitted him on taking in a lazy old grasshopper. "And being entertaining and cheerful is worth something!" And so it is, honeys; so it is!

Give the grasshopper a chance


THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, March 2, 1919.

The Forgetful Poet and His Riddles

Tumbler, fork, and shoe were the answers to the riddles for last time, and this week he is sure you will not be able to solve his puzzles at all. I'm not betting with him because--well, I hate to see him lose out. He loses enough things anyway. The first one does sound rather hard:

How could a man have three hands on one arm?

What is a plantigrade carnivorous quadruped?

When is an ant as tall as a hill?

Something carried by men and grown by planters in the South, and something used to summon people will give two Bible characters.

March is the housecleaning month of the -------,
She sweeps and she dusts till the whole world is -------
She don't mind the March wind, it's only her -------.
And she's sweeping the world just as we'd sweep a -------.

For the neatest and most correct list the Forgetful Poet will have a surprise. He's rather slow about sending things through, and the lucky person will not receive it till three weeks afterward. Wonder who'll be the lucky one?

[Answers next time. Sorry, no surprise will be given.]


Copyright © 2010 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Friday, January 1, 2010

THE MATING DAY

By L. Frank Baum
Author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The Secret of the Lost Fortune, The Visitors from Oz, etc.

Originally published in Short Stories, September 1898.



Gouigi the Hunter lay motionless beneath a wide-spreading yacca that towered far above the other trees of the forest. The moon was out, and its beams penetrating the leafy barriers, threw a network of fantastic shadows across the glistening brown body of the islander.

He lay upon his back with hands clasped firmly beneath his head, and his bright black eyes staring at the branches above him. A long, double-pointed spear was beside him, the ends drawn to the fineness of a needleç—´ point, its length well-polished and greased save for the handles near the centre.

Gouigi was thinking, and he had lain in nearly the same posture since the dawn of the previous day. For custom decreed that all those islanders who intended to take part in the mating tournament should absent themselves for the period of a day and a night from the society of their fellows, and Gouigi had made declaration to the chief that he would fight at the tourney.

One day each year the natives of this island of Macheki, in the South Seas, set apart for the mating of the maidens with the young braves of the tribe, and on this day took place a series of conflicts among the aspirants to determine which should have first choice from the bevy of eligible maidens.

Usually, upon such occasions, the victor was content to triumph over his adversaries, without seriously injuring them, and those vanquished had thus an opportunity to fight among themselves for second choice, and so on until the maids were all chosen. And upon most mating days there were many of the young warriors to take part in the conflict, yet now Gouigi counted upon his fingers and found there were but seven all told, who had declared their intention or fighting upon the morrow. For amongst the maidens to be chosen was Cheluika, the daughter of the chieftain, and whoever won the first choice would thus in time become the first brave of the tribe, since the chief was very old and unlikely to live more than a few moons longer. Therefore, this time the duel would be fought to the death, the prize being the greatest fate had ever yet placed within reach of the mating-day champions, and only the strongest and bravest of the young men had dared to undertake the task of winning the Princess Cheluika, and with her the leadership of the tribe.

Gouigi mused on all this as he lay under the yacca awaiting the time to return to the village. Somewhere amidst the forest were six other warriors resting or preparing themselves for the fray, but he did not dwell upon them long. True, they were the pick of the tribe, well skilled in the use of the spear and of great and powerful build.

But he, Gouigi, was the strongest of them all--save, perhaps, Mati the Tiger, and Mati was a brute, whom he loathed and would delight to kill. He spat upon the ground when he thought upon him, and turned his musings into more pleas-ant channels.

Soon he would be chief of the tribe and able to command where he had before served. He would fight the Kankins for one thing, and drive them from the little neighboring island, whence they so frequently descended upon his people to annoy them with their poisoned darts. And he would move the village over into the little harbor at the south, where the winds were less fierce. There were so many things he had in mind to accomplish when he should become chief.

What a fortunate thing he had waited until Cheluika was to be mated instead of choosing little Natka last year, as he had at one time intended. It was Mati the Tiger who had put it into his head to wait.

"For my part," Mati had said at that time, "I shall wait for the mating of the Princess Cheluika, for whoever wins her will be chief."

And he, because he hated Mati and wished to fight him, had also waited, and so there was no one to choose little Natka, who had looked at him reproachfully, but said no word.

It had been a long year, in which he had repeatedly quarreled with his rival; but the end was nigh at last, and his ambitions would not only be fulfilled, but supplemented by a triumph over Mati the Tiger. True, it would be a struggle to the death; there was no doubt of that. But he, Gouigi, would win. As for Cheluika, he knew very little about her, for he had been several years with the other young men at the wars, and the fishing, and the hunting grounds, and the princess had grown up in the village. But he had noted that Cheluika was a handsome maiden, proud and reserved, and mixing little with the other girls of the tribe. He could recall, as he lay musing under the big tree, her full, rounded form, her piercing dark eyes, the erect carriage of her head and her disdainful smile. Yes, Cheluika would do very well for a mate. She was not so lively as little Natka, nor could he expect her to mend his lines so deftly or to polish his spear so carefully as the laughing maiden who often followed him to the shore when he went to the fish-ing. But she was the chiefç—´ daughter, and with her he gained power and position, which, in their way, meant as much to the simple islander as to his civilized brethren.

The moon was waning now, and the light breeze which fanned his brow and fluttered the leaves of the tree heralded, he knew, the dawn. He sat up, drew a piece of dried meat from his pouch, and leisurely ate of it, drinking afterward from a little stream that flowed near by. Then, sitting down again, he examined with care his spear, testing its strength in every possible way.

Apparently satisfied with his inspection, he proceeded to bind up his long hair, heavy with walrus grease, into a knot, fastening it upon the back of his head with a fish-bone. Afterward he made his toilet by rubbing every part of his body plentifully with grease, and then, seizing his weapon, he started through the forest on his way to the village. With the first streak of dawn every member of the tribe was astir, and soon men, women and children assembled upon the green slope that led to the sea. In two long lines that faced each other they squatted to witness the coming spectacle, and at the head of these lines sat the old chief, with the row of maidens just before him who were eligible to be mated.

The girls were calm enough, for it was well understood that but one would be chosen this day, since the fight was to the death. The surviving champion would, of course, select the princess. The daughter of the chieftain, proud and self-contained, sat at the feet of her father, while the maidens on either side cast many curious and some envious glances at her dark immobile face.

Little Natka was there, nearly at the end of the line, but her eyes were red with weeping, for on this day she knew that Gouigi was destined either to fall in death or to mate with the princess, and either event would rob her of him forever.

At the other end of the double row of spectators and facing the chief and the maidens, was the dark edge of the forest, and now, as the sun shot its first ray over the treetops, the aged chief arose painfully to his feet and exclaimed: "It is the day of mating. The maidens await their lords. Who demands to choose first amongst them?"

"I demand the choice!" cried a voice, and a tall, powerful warrior stepped from the forest and advanced into the square. A loud murmur arose from the people, for this was Mati the Tiger, whose prowess was well known and respected.

But scarcely had he taken his place, spear in hand, when a lithe, slender form darted from the thicket and said boldly:

"I am here to choose first from the maidens. Who denies my right?"

"I!" returned Mati, and poising his spear he advanced upon his rival, who quickly sprang to meet him.

The contest was short. For a moment both whirled their slender spears rapidly before them, and then, quicker than the eye could follow, they came together--and separated. Mati stood upright, but his antagonist, uttering a great cry, fell writhing upon the ground and then lay still, pierced to the heart by the sharp-pointed spear of his foe.

Again from the crowd arose a murmur of approval, and the Princess Cheluika, aroused from her customary reserve, laughed aloud and clapped her hands together.

"Who now disputes my right?" cried Mati, strutting up and down in evident pride.

"I!" answered a voice, and another youth stepped from the forest to confront him.

The combat was longer this time, for the new champion was wary, and twice the warriors came together and separated before Mati's powerful arm could drive his spear-point home. Again he received the plaudits of the spectators, and again the princess laughed.

The dead bodies were drawn from the square, and Mati turned to face another foe. But none were able to combat him long, and within the hour five dead forms lay side by side upon the green, silent evidences o his wonderful skill.

The princess was fairly transformed by excitement. A deep red glowed beneath her brown cheeks, her eyes glistened like a serpent's, and as each warrior fell before the strong arm of Mati her little hands were the first to demonstrate approval. She seemed to revel in the bloodshed, and Gouigi, watching her from the concealment of the forest, wondered at her high spirits and glanced anon from her radiant face to where little Natka sat shrinking backward and shielding her eyes from the ghastly scene.

But his turn had come now. Mati was already shouting:

"Who now challenges my right to choose first?"

Gouigi grasped his spear firmly and advanced with slow strides into the open. The crowd greeted the newcomer with a growl of applause.

His great form, erect and firmly-knit, glistened bravely in the morning sun. His head was thrown back in an attitude both dignified and defiant, and his clear eyes, steadfast and piercing, sought his rival's face and questioned it gravely. He looked every inch a chieftain, and the people, quick to judge a warrior's powers and resources, glanced at one another and whispered:

"Mati has found his match!"

Mati himself undoubtedly realized that his most desperate fight lay before him, but he did not flinch. Shaking his spear in bravado and casting a look at Cheluika, who smiled and nodded her head to encourage him, he advanced with quick strides toward Gouigi the Hunter.

Swiftly the spears of the antagonists whirled above their heads, and then, with a sudden rush, they met, and the crash of the spears, splintered both into fragments, echoed sharply through the forest.

The natives looked at each other in amaze, for such a thing as this had not happened before in their experience. Gouigi and Mati, each astonished at the force of the other's blow, stood face to face glaring defiance. Then Gouigi turned his head.

"A spear!" he shouted.

Instantly two young men leaped from the ranks of the spectators and thrust their spears into the hands of the combatants.

"Good!" cried the princess, leaning eagerly forward.

The fight began anew, and so fiercely did it wage that for a time nothing could be distinguished but a mass of struggling brown limbs and the flash of the greased spears as they whirled in the sunshine. Then arose a wild cry, for Gouigi's spear had broken near the middle and the Tiger was pressing him furiously. But Gouigi managed the half weapon that remained to him with such consummate dexterity that a minute later Mati's spear was wrenched from his grasp and sent flying through the air. The Tiger reeled backward and fell upon his knees, and now, as in a flash, the sharp point of Gouigi's spear was at his throat.

But ere he had time to strike a piercing scream cleft the air and Cheluika rushed forward and threw herself between the warriors.

"Hold!" she commanded, "he shall fight again!" Then, as a murmur arose, she added: "I am Cheluika, the daughter of your chieftain, and I say he shall have another chance!"

Mati, still kneeling with bowed head, never moved from his place, while Gouigi, with spear still poised, seemed as if carved from stone.

The aged chief tottered to his feet and looked around upon his people with a troubled air.

"It is wrong," he said; "it is very wrong, and you all know it! But Cheluika is a woman, and she is my daughter. It shall be as she says. Mati shall have one more chance."

The people were silent, sitting with knit brows and angry faces. But Gouigi drew back and cast down his broken spear.

"It is well," he said calmly. "Arise, Mati the Tiger, and choose your weapon."

Cheluika rushed back to where the chief sat, and drawing two great knives, fashioned from walrus tusks, from his girdle, cast them upon the ground before the duelists.

"There are the weapons!" she cried.

Mati sprang to his feet, seized one of the knives, and waved his hand at the princess in token of thanks. Gouigi stooped to pick up the other knife, but before he could resume the defensive Mati bounded upon him with the ferocity of his namesake, the tiger, and only a quick movement on Gouigi's part saved him from death. As it was the blow but slashed his shoulder, and never heeding the dark blood that gushed forth he sprang at his treacherous enemy with a fierceness that matched his own.

For a time the blows fell fast, the spectators gazing with breathless interest at the unwonted sight. Forward and backward they pressed, and then Mati's great left arm shot around Gouigi's neck and drew him close to his breast, but just as his knife was raised to strike, the combatants whirled half around and fell full length upon the ground. For a few seconds they remained motionless, then slowly Gouigi released himself from the otherç—´ grasp and rose to his feet. But Mati lay prone upon his back, and protruding from his breast was the hilt of the Hunterç—´ knife.

Amidst the cries of approval that greeted the conqueror was heard the clapping of hands, and Gouigi, glancing toward Cheluika, was rewarded with a bright smile and a nod of her stately head. But further along the line his eyes wandered, and there was little Natka, sitting back in her place and sobbing softly for joy.

The warrior's stern face relaxed, and for the first time that day he smiled grimly.

Then, although blood was dripping from many wounds upon his body, he advanced to the chief, and folding his arms with savage grace, said, in a clear voice:

"I claim the right to choose my mate from these maidens. Who dares dispute me?"

There was no reply, and the old chief again arose and slowly addressed him.

"You have fought a great fight, and you have won. There is none living who dares dispute your right. Therefore, choose your mate from these maidens, and may your house be ever the abode of peace and plenty!"

In these words was the ceremony concluded, and now all eyes were turned upon the Princess Cheluika. The daughter of the chief arose to her feet. The smile still lingered upon her features, but she held herself proudly erect as her dark eyes read the rebuke upon the faces confronting her.

"Mati was brave," she said, "but he is dead; and Gouigi was more brave, and is alive! Therefore, if I favored the Tiger in the fight it was to prove that Gouigi had the strongest arm and the greatest skill. Now you know why I gave Mati another chance. I have spoken."

She gave one proud look around her, and then her eyes sought those of Gouigi, and again she smiled. No shout of approval greeted her speech as she resumed her seat. The people were silently watching Gouigi. He stood before the chief in the same attitude as before, but now a frown contracted his swarthy face, and his great eyes glittered strangely.

"Choose, oh Gouigi!" commanded the chief.

Gouigi started and raised his head. Slowly his eyes passed down the line of maidens until they rested upon little Natka, and lifting his right hand he walked deliberately to where she sat and, drawing the astonished girl to his side, he exclaimed in a loud voice:

"I have won the right to choose, and from all these maidens I take Natka to be my mate!"

Even that isolated tribe of savages could appreciate a heroism greater than mere prowess in battle, and the air resounded with wild cries of approval as the men and women of Macheki gathered around Gouigi to offer their congratulations.

But soon a hush fell upon the crowd, and with one accord they turned toward the scene of the late conflict, for the proud Cheluika, unable to support the infamy of the slight Gouigi had put upon her, had rushed to the body of Mati and, drawing the knife from his breast, plunged it deep into her own heart.


THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, February 23, 1919.
 

The Forgetful Poet's Riddles

The Forgetful Poet says that you knew more about history than he had supposed, and that you had no trouble in filling in the blanks. The necessary words were: One hundred and eighty-seven, Washington, Valley Forge and George. An adjective that describes morning meadows and also a naval hero is Dewey.

One's in a circus,
And one's in a road;
Both are used on the table
In every abode.

Said the merchant,
"'Tis the last of you!"
But 'twasn't, for it
Was a ------

He thus addressed,
It had a tongue--
Yet did not speak,
It was too young!

[Answers next time.]


Copyright © 2010 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

FATHER TIME'S NURSERY

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Ozoplaning with the Wizard of Oz, The Wish Express, "King, King! Double King!", etc.

Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, February 2, 1919.



Up in the high nurseries of Father and Mother Time all the little day children were playing together. They hadn't any name, for not until the big sun knocks at the door and calls for them do they receive them. One at a time they slip through the gateway that leads down to the earth; then away they are hurried to the Land of Yesterdays, and yesterdays are all grown-ups and can never return to the beautiful dream palace in the sky.

But the nursery is always full, for the baby hours grow into days as fast as the days grow into yesterdays. Well, as I have said, all the days were playing together and wondering when they should be called and what the world would be like.

"I hope I shall be a happy day on earth!" said one.

"I had rather be a grand and famous day. Mother - " the little day ran up to Mother Time and pulled at her skirt - "shall I be a famous day, do you think?"

Mother Time shook her head. "I cannot tell. Run off and play with your brothers and sisters, for who knows when you will be called, and then you can never come back to us." The little day hung his head, but was soon whispering to another day.

"Just the same, I shall be famous and not have to live forever in the dusty old past. I shall have a vacation every year from the Kingdom of Yesterday, and the world will remember me long after you are forgotten!"

"Will you tell me all about it when we are together in the past?" the little day who had wished to be a happy one asked anxiously.

"I won't have much time to associate with just common, everyday days. We famous days will all be together, you know But maybe I'll tell you!" the pompous little fellow remarked as he went. But the other day ran after him.

"How do you know you will be a great day?" she asked curiously. Just then there was a knock at the door, and all the little days sprang expectantly to their feet.

It was a big purple cloud.

"Sun's not going to get up today! Sent me to fetch one of you. Here, you with the black hair!" He pointed to the little day who was sure he was to be famous.

"Come along! We're late already!" The day drew back.

"What, me? I don't want to be a rainy day; a horrid old rainy day!" he ran to Mother Time, but she sorrowfully pushed him forward, and the dark cloud, grumbling some more about being late, gathered him in its arms and whirled away.

"Don't cry," implored the little sister day to whom he had been talking. "Rainy days are very useful and I'll be down with you soon!"

The little day who thought he was going to be famous heard, but he was too mortified and disappointed to answer.

"No one will be glad to see me!" he mourned as the clouds set him rudely on a mountain top and disappeared. And I am sorry to say no one was. Little boys and girls looked crossly out of the window and pouted:

"What a horrid rainy day. Oh, dear!"

And, worse than that, not a single famous thing happened, and when the messengers of the night came to bear him away to the Land of Yesterdays he was so forlorn that they tried to cheer him up.

"There are hundreds and hundreds of days just like you, and they're an awfully jolly set. Besides, you never can tell, perhaps some one born during your stay will turn out to be a great man. Then you'll be famous after all. Cheer up!"

The little rainy day had never thought of that, and would you believe it, my dears, he spends all his time hunting up the records of babies born during his stay, and he is watching them closely, I want to tell you, for he is determined to be famous yet. And maybe he will! But what about the other little day?

Old Father Time heard her say, "I hope I shall be a happy day on earth!" And he smiled a wonderful smile, and on a bright morning in November sent the sun to fetch her. And what day to you suppose it was? Peace Day, November 11, when half the world laid down its arms!



THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson 
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, February 9, 1919.


The Forgetful Poet--His Rhymes and His Riddles

The Forgetful Poet sends you his heartiest greetings, which are very appropriate under the circumstances. He says he quite agrees with St. Valentine that people's hearts need exercising. After all, the heart is a muscle, so will the hearts all please stand up in a row and expand themselves. That's right. As for last week's answers, here they are: Naturally, if the King went fishing he was a bird--a kingfisher, of course. The others are nosegay, tomato, legacy and footman.

As for this week's puzzles, here they are:

What can be stolen
Without fear
Of punishment,
My duck and dear?

I know some drums
That never beat--
Not ear drums--
Neither are they sweet?

Made up of cells,
But not a dungeon.
Often have 'em
For our luncheon?

He says he knows luncheon does not rhyme with dungeon, but a poor poet must take some liberties.

[Answers next time.
]


Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

OPENING CHORUS of OZMA OF OZ

By L. Frank Baum
Author of John Dough and the Cherub, The Amazing Bubble Car, and The Visitors from Oz. etc.

This Ozma of Oz, copyrighted in 1909, was Baum's script for a play based on his 1907 book of the same name. Eventually it evolved into the play The Tik-Tok Man of Oz, staged in 1913, which was the basis for Baum's 1914 Oz book of a similar name. The following song, which would have had music (not known to still exist) by Manuel Klein, opens the play with the Dorothy Gale-analog Betsy Baker, Hank the mule, and the spring chicken Baden-Baden in the Rose Kingdom. This scene provided the basis for the similar episode in the book Tik-Tok of Oz.



Roses:
What an impolite intrusion!
You have filled us with confusion--
An action most ungracious in a mortal such as you!
We are occupied in growing
And you really must be going
For to interfere with roses is a careless thing to do.

Betsy:
But I've just been badly wrecked
And I surely can expect
A little hospitality in such a bow'r of beauty,
But I'll tell you what's the matter;
There are thorns in all your chatter,
And some day you will be reproached for laxness in your duty.

Roses:
We are very cultivated;
Our variety is stated
By expert horticulturists to be exceeding rare,
But when angered ev'ry petal
Is at once upon its mettle,
And every bud and blossom is as dangerous as fair.

Betsy:
Hey dey! That is to say,
You're pretty to look at but horrid to strangers!
Heigh ho! Where shall we go?
Wherever we wander we run into dangers.

Hank:
Hee haw!
Betsy:
Poor little Hank!
There's no one to love us or comfort us, dear.
Hank:
Hee haw!
Betsy:
Who but a crank
Would turn us away when we want to stay here?

Roses:
You are very pert and saucy!
And inclined to be quite bossy,
But we'll not submit to impudence from any mortal maid!
Spite of all your bluff and braying
You have no excuse for staying
This hot-house is too warm for you we're very much afraid.

Betsy:
Roses, you are on the scent!
Fragrant though you stalk,
Vagrant is the scent-I-meant
That pervades your talk!

Though so dainty now you look,
You're a lot of loons;
When you get the pruning-hook
You'll be full of prunes.

Roses:
You are very inconsistent.
For although you are persistent
In claiming hospitality where none is offered you;
We must still insist on saying
That our laws we are obeying
By forcing you to leave us and to bid our land adieu.



THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson 
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, February 2, 1919.

 

Some Puzzles to Puzzle You

The Forgetful Poet says that a letter is feminine because it is a miss-ive - and I s;pose that it is - and a German food describing a wise man is sausage, for is not a wise man full of saws and is he not also a sage? Then, therefore, he is a sawsage.

He will have his joke. Listen to this:

The snowman went off
To deposit his money.
He went to a snow bank.
Why shouldn't he, honey?

He was talking to one of the Supposies the other day--he's quite fond of the dear things--and this Supposy told him that the King had gone fishing. "Then he's a bird!" said the Forgetful Poet triumphantly, and the Supposies have gone off to Solomon Tremendous Wise to solve the riddle. Can you do it for them?

He says he often sees funny things in his dreams. The other night he saw

A nose that was gay
And a toe that was red;
A leg made of money,
A foot with a head.

[Answers next time.]


Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

THE HIGH PIE TEST IN SUPPOSYVILLE

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Ozoplaning with the Wizard of Oz, The Wish Express, "King, King! Double King!", etc.

Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, July 7, 1918.



Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise,
The King's chiefmost adviser,
Seems every day to find a way
Of proving himself wiser.
"There is," said he, "one thing that we
Have overlooked, your Highness;
A matter of importance and
A matter of much finesse!

"It has to do with weddings, Sire,
Contentedness and quiet;
It has to do with the tremendous
Part of each man's diet
That lacking causes pain, distress,
The blues and melancholy;
That eaten regularly keeps
Him jovial and jolly.

"A peaceful household you will find
Where good pie is a factor,
It is a never failing calm,
A masculine attractor;
And knowing this to be the case,
Your Majesty, 'twere best
To make each maiden pass, before
She weds, a high pie test!"

"A high pie test! Sir Solomon,
Your genius is sublime, Sir!"
Thus spoke the King, "and so your hint
I regard as very prime, Sir!"
By royal proclamation it
Was spread North, East and West
And South: "No maid shall wed until
She's passed the high pie test!"

And after that--'most every day,
Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise
Is called upon to test and pass--
Well, several dozen pies.
Sometimes the King helps. The insides
Must be both sweet and shaky;
As for the crust--of course, that must
Be white and light and flaky.

And when the pies have passed, the maid
May wed--Aho! I'm thinking
Sir Solomon just made that rule--
Yes; once I saw him winking--
Because he wanted pie himself.
Not having any wife
He thought he'd just insure himself
Against a pieless life!

He tests the pies himself, you know.
Now what a merry joke
The wise old wight has played this time
On our Supposy Folk.



THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson 
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, January 26, 1919.
 

The Forgetful Poet

Would you believe it? Sometimes this dear old chap forgets the answers to his own riddles, and then every one in the office has to get to work to help him out. But, as he says, his head is so full of new ideas that he has not room for all the old ones. Last week's answers were: Longfellow, Eugene Field, Shelley, Whittier, Wordsworth, Bret Harte, Scott, Browning.

The preserved letter in the alphabet which appeals to boys and girls is candy.

This week he asks:

"Why is a letter (the kind you write) feminine?"

"What German food describes a wise man--Solomon Tremendous Wise, for instance?"

He felt pretty good, because he really got off a joke on me.

"Do your feet correspond?" he asked me suddenly. I looked down hastily to see whether I had the right shoe on the left foot or anything. "What do you mean?" I said, quite mystified.

"Well, I've often heard of foot notes--so I thought possibly your feet corresponded!" Before I could get even, he hurried out and I could hear him laughing all the way down the entry. Pshaw!

[Answers next time.]


Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

TOYLAND'S FOLKS GO SLEDDING

By John R. Neill
Author of The Runaway in Oz, The Wonder City of Oz, Lucky Bucky in Oz, etc.

Originally published in the Philadelphia North American, January 21, 1906.


Toyland's Folks Go Sledding
Click image to enlarge.


THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson 
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, January 19, 1919.

 

The Forgetful Poet's Puzzles

I suppose you have guessed by this time that the man he mentioned last week was a snow man. Who else would wear a tin pot on his head, or run away from hot water?

In this paragraph our old friend says he has hidden nine poets--fellow-workers he called them. Now I wonder if you can play hide and seek well enough to find them?

There was once a slender, long fellow who owned a field near the sea, which made the soil very shelly. But he plowed it with a good heart and raised all manner of vegetables. He had a ready tongue, no one was wittier than he, as the neighbors often remarked of his conversation, "Every word's worth hearing."

The goodness of his heart you may well judge when I tell you that a rabbit he caught nibbling his cabbages he let go Scot free, though as the miller declared, "It should be browning on his spit for it's thievery!"

What letter of the alphabet preserved results in a delicacy loved by boys and girls?

(My goodness! he's using big words today, and he hasn't written a single verse; must have indigestion or something.)

[Answers next time.]


Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR

By Ruth Plumly Thompson
Author of Ozoplaning with the Wizard of Oz, The Wish Express, "King, King! Double King!", etc.

Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, October 10, 1920.



Even a dog knows if you are afraid of him and will bark snappishly at your heels just for pure mischief. An unsteady hand on the rein will set the steadiest-going trotter into kicking up, to show the driver that he knows he's afraid. You know, yourself, if you're afraid of the bigger boys in school how they'll tease and bully you - it seems human nature to pick on the person who's afraid. And that brings me to a story.

Once a Russian Cossack wishing to earn some money for new boots rode into the city of Moscow, put up his horse with an obliging friend and set out to look for work. Being anxious to earn the money quickly he applied to the first place he struck and what place to you suppose it was? The zoo!

The Frenchman in charge, seeing that he was strong and willing, took him at once, but as he could not speak Russian, and the Cossack could not speak French, he was obliged to show the new man just what he wished done. Taking bucket, brushes and sponge he stepped into an antelope cage, gave the cage a thorough cleaning, then, as the antelope was a pet, sponged off its back. The Russian nodded his head in approval and taking the bucket and brushes started into the next cage, which happened to be that of some Australian sheep, The Frenchman watched him a few minutes, then, seeing that he was quick and thorough, went off to attend to something else.

The Cossack whistling and singing worked much faster than the Frenchman had expected and when he returned he gave one look, then fell speechless against the wall.

No wonder! The Cossack had unconcernedly entered the cage of the fiercest tiger in the zoo. Without paying any attention to the tiger that lay stretched asleep in the back of the cage the Cossack proceeded to sweep and clean. Then, walking quickly over to the great beast, he dipped his sponge in the bucket of water and began vigorously rubbing it down the back.

At the first touch of water the tiger opened its terrible eyes. The poor Frenchman shuddered, and expected him to be torn to pieces.

But no such thing. The cold water seemed to please the beast and the vigorous rubbing up and down its back made it actually purr. It rolled over and over, the Cossack scrubbing every part with perfect calmness. Then, patting the creature on the head, he picked up his things and walked out.

No one had ever told him to be afraid of tigers and he had not a particle of fear. The slightest flinching or dodging on his part would have resulted in his death, but the fact that he was not afraid somehow got to the tiger and the bath was such a pleasant surprise from the usual monotony of the morning that he never even growled.

By the time the Cossack had come out of the cage the Frenchman had recovered his voice, and running after the indefatigable Russian, he just prevented him from entering the lion's cage. The Cossack shrugged his shoulders, but as the man insisted he kept to the tame beasts' cages and in several days had earned enough for his boots and ridden back to his comrades on the plains.

It is a wonderful thing to be without fear, although I would not recommend such experiments to every one. No, don't go into tiger cages to show you are not afraid, but in all your every day life remember that the boy or girl who is afraid never succeeds and the boy or girl who has no fear of failure, or of being beaten at game or lesson, usually wins.


THE FORGETFUL POET
 
By Ruth Plumly Thompson 
Originally published in the Philadelphia Public Ledger, January 12, 1919.


The Forgetful Poet

The dear fellow has a few verses for us:

A man was standing in my yard.
I bade him go away--
He simply stood and stared at me
I sternly said, "Good day!"

He held a broomstick in his hand,
And wore upon his head
An old tin pot, although 'twas not
Becoming--"I command

You to remove yourself at once
From out my private yard!"
He still stood there--I took a pole
And hit him very hard.

His head rolled off, but still he stood--
I brought a steaming pail
Of water and he ran away
And this is some true tale!

What kind of man was he?

[Answers next time]


Copyright © 2009 Eric Shanower and David Maxine. All rights reserved.